Hunt Jokes / Recent Jokes
His And Hers ATMsHIS: 1. Pull up to ATM 2. Insert card 3. Enter PIN number and account 4. Take cash, card and receipt HER: 1. Pull up to ATM 2. Check makeup in rearview mirror 3. Shut off engine 4. Put keys in purse 5. Get out of car because you're too far from machine 6. Hunt for card in purse 7. Insert card 8. Hunt in purse for tampon wrapper with PIN number written on it. 9. Enter PIN number 10. Study instructions for at least 2 minutes. 11. Hit "cancel" 12. Re-enter correct PIN number 13. Check balance 14. Look for envelope 15. Look in purse for pen 16. Make out deposit slip 17. Endorse checks 18. Make deposit 19. Study instructions 20. Make cash withdrawal 21. Get in car 22. Check makeup 23. Look for keys 24. Start car 25. Check makeup 26. Start pulling away 27. STOP 28. Back up to machine 29. Get out of car 30. Take card and receipt 31. Get back in car 32. Put card in wallet 33. Put receipt in checkbook 34. Enter deposits and withdrawals in checkbook 35. Clear area in more...
Washington state attorney season and bag limits
1300. 01 GENERAL
1. Any person with a valid Washington State hunting license may harvest attorneys.
2. Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of currency as bait is prohibited.
3. Killing of attorneys with a vehicle is prohibited. If accidentally struck, remove dead attorney to roadside and proceed to nearest car wash.
4. It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest attorneys from a snow machine, helicopter, or aircraft.
5. It shall be unlawful to shout "whiplash", "ambulance", or "free Perrier" for the purpose of trapping attorneys.
6. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards of BMW dealerships.
7. It shall be unlawful to use cocaine, young boys, $100 bills, prostitutes, or vehicle accidents to attract attorneys.
8. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of more...
How to Hunt Elephants -- QA StyleQuality assurance inspectors ignore the elephants and lookfor mistakes the other hunters made when they were packingthe jeep.
A man was driving through West Virginia looking for a place to move
to. He saw 2 men sitting on a porch and said "I'm moving here from the city, what do you guys do around here."
The men answered "go hunt'n, kill things' n screw".
He then asked "what do you hunt and kill."
The men replied "som'n ta screw."
A carload of hunters, looking for a place to hunt, pulled into a farmer's yard. The driver went up to the farmhouse to ask permission to hunt on his land.
The old farmer said, "Sure you can hunt, but would you do me a favor? That old mule over there is 20 years old and sick with cancer, but I don't have the heart to kill her. Would you do it for me?
The hunter said, "Sure" and headed for the car.
Walking back, however, he decided to pull a trick on his hunting buddies. He got into the car and when they asked if the farmer said it was OK, he said, "No, we can't hunt here, but I'm going to teach that old cuss a lesson."
With that, he rolled down his window, stuck his gun out and blasted the mule. As he exclaimed, "There, that will teach him!"
A second shot rang out from the passenger side and one of his hunting buddies shouted, "I got the cow!!!"
Bush cancelled the Easter Egg hunt on the lawn of the White House. His people were afraid that, like Osama bin Laden and Saddam Hussein, the Easter Eggs would turn out to be something else that Bush can`t find.
A man was driving through West Virginia looking for a place to move to. He saw 2 men sitting on a porch and said, "I'm moving here from thecity, what do you guys do around here?" The men answered, "Go hunt'n, kill things,' n screw". He then asked, "What do you hunt and kill?" The men replied, "Sumt'n ta screw."