Hunter Jokes / Recent Jokes
Two duck hunters ran into one another early one morning. One of them noticed that the other's dog was just sitting there, who no interest in retrieving any of the fowl his master downed.
The first hunter asked, "What's wrong with your dog? The last time I saw him he was one of the best bird dogs I'd ever seen!"
"Well," the other hunter replied. "His name's Lawyer. He used to run all over creation working hard and getting the job done. The one day, someone made the mistake of calling him Judge. Now all he does is sit on his ass and bark."
A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his home. In the den was a stuffed lion. The visiting hunter asked, "When did you bag him?" The host said proudly, "That was three years ago, when I went hunting with my ex-wife." "What's he stuffed with," asked the visiting hunter." My ex-wife" replied the hunter.
A couple of hunters from Prague are out hunting, and an emormous bear runs up and in a single gulp devours one of the hunters. Miraculously, the swallowed hunter remained alive, trapped in the belly of the grizzly. The other hunter runs back to town and organizes a rescue party which heads back to the woods armed with torches, guns, spears, etc. Soon they spot two bears on the horizon and everybody starts shooting at the bear that's closest to them. "No, not that one," shouts the surviving hunter, "That's the female." "The Czech is in the male."
A game warden came upon a duck hunter who had bagged 3
ducks and decided to "enforce the laws pending."
He stopped the hunter, flashed his badge and said,
"Looks like you've had a pretty good day.
Mind if I inspect your kill?" The hunter shrugged and
handed the ducks to the warden. The warden took one of
the ducks, inserted his finger into the duck's rectum,
pulled it out, sniffed it, and said, "This here's a Was
hington state duck. Do you have a Washington state hunting license?"
The hunter pulled out his wallet and calmly showed the
warden a Washington state hunting license. The warden took a
second duck, inserted his finger in the bird's rectum,
pulled it out, sniffed it, and said, "This here's an
Idaho duck. Do you have an Idaho state hunting license?"
The hunter, a bit put out, produced an Idaho state hunting
license.
The warden took a third duck, conducted the more...
A man was out duck hunting when a cop came drove by and asked him for his ID.
Okay said the hunter.
The cop then grabbed one of the ducks, stuck his finger up the ducks ass, and asked him if he had a liscence to own a California duck.
The man showed him the liscence.
The cop took another ducks ass and shoved his finger up it. He asked the hunter if he had a liscence to hunt Florida duck.
The man showed him his liscence.
The cop finally took the last duck, shoved his finger up the duck's butt and asked him if he had a liscence to hunt Louisiana duck.
The man showed him the liscence.
The cop calmed down and started to relax. "So, where u from?" the cop asked.
The man bent over. "You tell me," he said.
A tired hunter out in the wilds stumbled into a camp. "Am I glad to see you," he said. "I`ve been lost for three days." "Don`t get too excited, friend," the other hunter replied. "I`ve been lost for three weeks."
Explorer walking in the Amazon Rain Forest comes across a clearing with a dead 60ft Dinosaur and a hunter sat astride it. He asks the hunter "Who killed the Dinosaur?" "I did," replied the hunter. "How did you kill it?" Asked the Explorer. The hunter replied, " With My club" The Explorer was astonished, so he enquired," How big is your club then? The hunter answered, "There are about 400 of us now!"