Hunter Jokes / Recent Jokes
Three idiots decide to go hunting. The first one says he's going to get a buck. He goes out, and indeed comes back with a buck. The other two hunters ask how he did it. He says, "I see tracks. I follow tracks. I get buck."
So the second hunter says that he's going to get a doe. And he does. They ask him how he did it, and he says, "I see tracks. I follow tracks. I get doe."
So the third hunter says, "I'm just gonna shoot at anything I see."
So he goes out and comes back half a day later all beaten, bruised, bloody, and totally trashed. The other two hunters ask him what happened and he says, "I see tracks. I follow tracks. I get hit by train!"
There was a fly flying 6 inches above a lake. A fish in the lake thinks, "If that fy dropped 6 inches I'd get it!!!" A bear on land thinks, "If that fly dropped 6 inches, the fish would jump out of the water, and I'd get it!" A hunter thinks, "If that fly drops 6 inches, the fish would jump, the bear will go to get the fish, and I'll shoot the bear" A mouse thinks, "If that fly drops 6 inches, the fish would jump, the bear would go to get the fish, the hunter will go to get the bear, and I'll steal the cheese off his sandwich!" A cat thinks, "If that fly drops 6 inches, the fish would jump, the bear would go to get the fish, the hunter will go to get the bear, the mouse will go get the cheese, and I'll get that mouse!!!" Suddenly it all happened,
The fly dropped 6 inches, the fish got the fly, the bear get the fish, the hunter got the bear, the mouse got the hunter's cheese, but the cat missed the mouse and fell in the water!!!!! more...
A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother-in-law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the Mrs. awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother.
The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight: the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her.
The wife said,' 'What are we going to do?''
''Nothing,'' said the hunter,' 'The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it.''
There was once a Rino sleeping by a water fall. just then a huge lion come along and grabed his balls give them a little shake and said "
oh i'll ave a peice of that!"
and the lion starts shagging the Rino up the arse then the Rino wakes up and the lion runs for his life then whilst the Rino is stomping just behind the lion the lion sees a hunter reading a newspaper with those funny hunter hats on so the lion kills the hunter sticks on his hat gets the newspaper and sits down then the Rino says to the lion (who he thinks is a hunter)ave u seen a lion come through here? and the lion says do you mean the one who shagged the rino up the ass earlier? then the Rino said "
FUCK ME DON'T TELL ME IT'S IN THE PAPERS ALREADY !!!. by Ricky .L. Lewis
An exhausted hunter out in the wilds stumbled into a camp. "Am I glad to see you." he said. "I've been lost for three days."
"Don't get too excited friend." the other hunter replied. "I've been lost for three weeks."
The setting is a quiet and serene country stream weaving through the gentle hills of a grassy plain. All is quiet and still, and, lo, a small fly hovers a few inches above the quiet waters of the stream. Beneath the water floats a small fish. The fish thinks to itself, if that fly just drops two inches, I will be able to jump out of the water and catch it. Now, standing on the bank of the stream lurks a bear. The bear looks at the scene and thinks to itself, if that fly drops just two inches, then the fish will jump out of the water to catch it, and I will be able to dash into the stream and snap up the fish in my mouth. Crouching nearby the stream, in the tall grass, waits a hunter. The hunter looks at the scene and thinks to himself, if that fly drops just two inches, then the fish will spring out of the water to catch it, then bear will dash out into the river, and I'll get a clear shot at the bear. Sitting at the entrance to its hole, is a small field mouse. Looking at the scene, more...
There was this fish, and this fish was watching a fly, the fish wanted the fly to drop six inches so he could jump and eat it. There was a bear on the shore, he wanted the fly to drop six inches so the fish would jump and the bear could swipe the fish for lunch. There was a hunter in the woods, he wanted the fly to drop six inches so the fish would jump, the bear would swipe and the fish and come out into plain view. There was a mouse eyeing the hunters sandwhich, he wanted the fly to drop six inches so the fish would jump, the bear would move into plain view, the hunter would shoot the bear then the hunter would go get the bear and the mouse could get the sandwhich. There was a cat waiting for the fly to drop six inches so the fish would jump, the bear would move into plain view, the hunter would shoot the bear and for the mouse to go for the sandwhich. So the fly drops six inches, the fish jumps in the air, the bear catches the fish, the hunter shoots the bear and the mouse swipes more...