I`m Jokes

A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them.
He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them.
His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing.
The man says "I`m sending out 1, 000 Valentine cards signed, `Guess who?`"
"But why?" asks the man.
"I`m a divorce lawyer," the man replies.

Three guys were working on a high rise building project: Steve, Bill and Charlie. Steve falls off and is killed instantly. As the ambulance takes the body away, Charlie says, "Someone should go and tell his wife." Bill says, "OK, I`m pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I`ll do it." 2 hours later, he comes back carrying a 6-pack. Charlie says, "Where did you get that, Bill?" "Steve`s wife gave it to me." "That`s unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you the beer?" Bill says,"Well not exactly. When she answered the door, I said to her, `You must be Steve`s widow.`"She said, "`No, I`m not a widow." And I said, "Wanna bet me a six-pack?"

A guy rings work and says "I can`t come in to work today as I`m sick"The voice at the other end asks "How sick are you? ?" The guy says "Well I`m in bed with my 12 year old son! !"

A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to see a gynaecologist. The doctor takes one good look at this woman and his professionalism is a thing of the past. Right away he tells her to undress. After she has disrobed he begins to stroke her thigh.
As he does he says to the woman: "Do you know what I`m doing? "
"Yes," she says, "you`re checking for any abrasions or dermatological abnormalities."
"Correct," says the doctor.
He then begins to fondle her breasts. "Do you know what I`m doing now", he says.
"Yes," says the woman, "you`re checking for any lumps or breast cancer."
"That`s right," replies the doctor. He then gradually proceeds to having sexual intercourse with her. "Do you know," he pants "what I`m doing now?"
"Yes," she says. "You`re getting herpes."