Immediately Jokes / Recent Jokes

Mahathir was so disappointed with his cabinet for being inefficient and corrupt that he decided to call on Goh Chok Tong and ask him how he managed to have such an efficient and incorruptible cabinet. On hearing Mahathir's woes, PM Goh said,' Simple, Mahathir, I choose able men for my cabinet.' Mahathir asked,' Yes, but how do you know that they are able?' PM Goh replied,' Just ask them simple questions to test their intelligence. They don't need to be too difficult. Let me illustrate to you.' Just then, Tony Tan was walking by, PM Goh called out to him,' Hey Tony, come over here.' Tony obediently walked briskly over. PM Goh asked,' Tell me, Tony, who is your father's son? ' Tony Tan immediately replied,' Me! Of course.' PM Goh turned to Mahathir and said,' See, all my ministers can answer this question. Why don't you go back and try.' Mahathir thank PM Goh and left. Once he was back, he immediately summoned Anwar, his deputy, and shot the question at him,' Tell me, Anwar, who is your more...

Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit didn't like each other very much. One day, while walking through the woods, and they came across a golden frog.
They were amazed when the frog talked to them. The golden frog admitted that he didn't often meet anyone, but, when he did, he always gave them six wishes. He told them that they could have 3 wishes each.
Mr. Bear immediately wished that all the other bears in the forest were females. The frog granted his wish. Mr. Rabbit, after thinking for a while, wished for a crash helmet. One appeared immediately, and he placed it on his head. Mr. Bear was amazed at Mr. Rabbit's wish, but carried on with his second wish. He wished that all the bears in the neighboring forests were females as well, and the frog granted his wish.
Mr. Rabbit then wished for a motorcycle. It appeared before him, and he climbed on board and started revving the engine. Mr. Bear could not believe it and Complained that Mr. Rabbit had wasted two wishes that he could have had more...

While visiting England, George Bush is invited to tea with the Queen. He asks her what her leadership philosophy is. She says that it is to surround herself with intelligent people.
Zasks how she knows if they`re intelligent.
"I do so by asking them the right questions," says the Queen. "Allow me to demonstrate."
Bush watches as the Queen phones Tony Blair and says, "Mr. Prime Minister, please answer this question: your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?"
Tony Blair responds, "It`s me, ma`am."
"Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir," says the Queen. She hangs up and says, "Did you get that, Mr. Bush?" Bush nods: "Yes ma`am. Thanks a lot. I`ll definitely be using that!"
Bush, upon returning to Washington, decides he`d better put the Chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee to the test. Bush summons Jesse more...

For those of you who don't already know, these are the rules that are in effect in every relationship.
1. The female always makes the rules.
2. These rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.
3. No male can possibly know all the rules.
4. If the female suspects that the male knows all the rules, she must immediately change some or all of the rules.
5. The female is never wrong.
6. If the female is wrong, it is because of a vagrant misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the male said or did wrong.
7. If rule number 6 applies, the male must immediately apologize for causing the misunderstanding.
8. The female can change her mind at any given point in time.
9. The male must never change his mind without express written consent of the female.
10. The female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
11. The male must remain calm at all times, unless the female wants him to be angry or more...

A doctor, an architect, and an attorney were dining at the country club one day, and the conversation turned to the subject of their respective dogs, which were apparently quite extraordinary. A wager was placed on who had the most intelligent dog.
The physician offered to show his dog first, and called to the parking lot, "Hippocrates, come!" Hippocrates ran in, and was told by the doctor to do his stuff. Hippocrates ran to the golf course and dug for a while, producing a number of bones. He dragged the bones into the country club, and assembled them into a complete, fully articulated human skeleton. The physician patted Hippocrates on the head, and gave him a cookie for his efforts.
The architect was only marginally impressed, and called for his dog, "Sliderule, come!" Sliderule ran in, and was told to do his stuff. The dog immediately chewed the skeleton to rubble, but reassembled the fragments into a scale model of the Taj Mahal. The architect patted more...

For those of you who don't already know, these are the rules that are in effect in every relationship.1. The female always makes the rules.2. These rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.3. No male can possibly know all the rules.4. If the female suspects that the male knows all the rules, she must immediately change some or all of the rules.5. The female is never wrong.6. If the female is wrong, it is because of a vagrant misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the male said or did wrong.7. If rule number 6 applies, the male must immediately apologize for causing the misunderstanding.8. The female can change her mind at any given point in time.9. The male must never change his mind without express written consent of the female.10. The female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.11. The male must remain calm at all times, unless the female wants him to be angry or upset.12. The female must under no circumstances let the male know more...

If you happen to end up in a Halloween or horror movie, it is worthwhile to remember a few simple rules to help keep yourself healthy, happy and safe (in other words, not dead).

1. When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see if it's really dead.

2. Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.

3. Do not search the basement, especially if the power has gone out.

4. If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they should not know, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. However, it will probably take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared. This also applies to kids who speak with somebody else's voice.

5. When you have the benefit of numbers, NEVER pair off or go alone. Hit the first person that says, "Let's split up."

6. As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell. It's just not that more...