Importance Jokes / Recent Jokes

The Importance of Proper Punctuation


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Dear John:

I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are
generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you
admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for
other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever
when we're apart. I can be forever happy--will you let me
be yours? Gloria
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Dear John:

I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are
generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you.
Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me.
For other men, I yearn. For you, I have no feelings
whatsoever. When we're apart, I can be forever happy. Will
you let me be? Yours, Gloria
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Two men were discussing the importance of fitness in the game of cricket. Said the fat one,' When I'm at the crease, my body is highly tuned and as taut as a bowstring. The bowler comes up, bowls and my brain snaps out a command to my body to get quickly behind the line, raise the bat and execute a perfect stroke.'

'Then what happens?'

'My body says:' Who me?'

A grief-stricken man threw himself on a grave and cried bitterly, "My life, oh how senseless is it! How worthless everything about me, because you are gone. If only you had lived, if only fate had not been so cruel as to take you from this world, how everything would have been different!"A clergyman nearby overheard him and said, "I assume the person lying beneath this mound of earth was someone of great importance to you.""Importance? Indeed it was," wept the man. "It's my wife's first husband!"

In the beginning, God created the bit. And the bit was a zero.
On the first day, he toggled the 0 to 1, and the Universe was. (In those days, bootstrap loaders were simple, and "active low" signals didn't yet exist.)
On the second day, God's boss wanted a demo, and tried to read the bit. This being volatile memory, the bit reverted to a 0. And the universe wasn't. God learned the importance of backups and memory refresh, and spent the rest of the day (and his first all-nighter) reinstalling the universe.
On the third day, the bit cried "Oh, Lord! If you exist, give me a sign!" And God created rev 2.0 of the bit, even better than the original prototype. Those in Universe Marketing immediately realized that "new and improved" wouldn't do justice to such a grand and glorious creation. And so it was dubbed the Most Significant Bit. Many bits followed, but only one was so honored.
On the fourth day, God created a simple ALU with 'add' and more...

There's no longer any question whether transit companies should hire women for jobs formerly held by men. The draft and manpower shortage has settled that point. The important things now are to select the most efficient women available and how to use them to the best advantage.
Here are eleven helpful tips on the subject from Western Properties:
Pick young married women. They usually have more of a sense of responsibility than their unmarried sisters, they are less likely to be flirtatious, they need the work or they wouldn't be doing it, they still have the pep and interest to work hard and to deal with the public efficiently.
When you have to use older women, try to get ones who have worked outside the home at some time in their lives. Older women who have never contacted the public have a hard time adapting themselves and are inclined to be cantankerous and fussy. It's always well to impress upon older women the importance of friendliness and courtesy.
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