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A thermodynamics professor had written a take home exam for his graduatestudents. It had one question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Support your answer with a proof.
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So, we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one more...
OFFICE MEMO
Date: 1/18/96
SPINDLER CALLS IN AIR STRIKE, DESTROYS APPLE TO SAVE IT
Stock Price Increases 50%
“We’ll do it better, ” Says Microsoft
CUPERTINO, Calif. JANUARY 18, 1996
The massive pile of smoking rubble near Interstate 280 here in Cupertino was not the result of an earthquake or natural gas explosion, as officials first believed.
It now appears that the terrific explosion and fire at Apple Computer headquarters was the result of the first corporate-initiated airstrike on U. S. or California soil in U. S. history.
Sources within Apple have told newspapers that, in an effort to save Apple from an internal coup that would result in the breakup and sale of the company, embattled Apple CEO Michael Spindler called in elements of the California Air National Guard, based at Moffet Federal Air Station in Mountain View, Calif. to bomb and strafe his own headquarters.
Spindler allegedly called the California Air National Guard late more...
The new minister's wife had a baby. The minister appealed to the congregation for a salary increase to cover the addition to the family. The congregation agreed that it was only fair, and approved it. When the next child arrived, the minister appealed and again the congregation approved the increase. Several years and five children later, the congregation was a bit upset over the increasing expenses. This turned into a rather loud meeting one night with the minister.
Finally, the minister stood up and shouted "Having children is an Act of God!"
An older man in the back stood and shouted back "So are rain and snow, but we wear rubbers for them!"
Dakota tribal wisdom says that when you discover you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount. However, in business, we often try other strategies with dead horses, including the following:
1. Buying a stronger whip.
2. Changing riders.
3. Saying' This is the way we always have ridden this horse.'
4. Appointing a committee to study the horse.
5. Arranging to visit other sites to see how they ride dead horses.
6. Increasing the standards to ride dead horses.
7. Appointing a tiger team to revive the dead horse.
8. Creating a training session to increase our riding ability.
9. Comparing the state of dead horses in today's environment.
10. Change the requirements declaring that' This horse is not dead!'
11. Hire contractors to ride the dead horse.
12. Harnessing several dead horses together for increased speed.
13. Declaring that' No horse is to dead too beat.'
14. Providing additional funding to more...
Galbraith`s Law of Human Nature: Faced with the choice between changing one`s mind and proving that there is no need to do so, almost everybody gets busy on the proof.
Gerrold`s Laws of Infernal Dynamics: 1. An object in motion will always be headed in the wrong direction. 2. An object at rest will always be in the wrong place. 3. The energy required to change either one of these states will always be more than you wish to expend, but never so much as to make the task totally impossible.
Gilb`s Laws Of Unreliability: 1) At the source of every error which is blamed on the computer you will find at least two human errors, including the error of blaming it on the computer. 2) Any system which depends on human reliability is unreliable. 3) Udetectable errors are infinite in variety, in contrast to detectable errors, which by definition are limited. 4) Investment in reliability will increase until it exceeds the probable cost of errors, or until someone insists on more...
Whats the best way to increase the size of your bank balance? Look at it through a magnifying glass.
Dr. Schambaugh, of the University of Oklahoma School of Chemical Engineering, Final Exam question for May of 1997. Dr. Schambaugh is known for asking questions such as, "why do airplanes fly?" on his final exams.
His one and only final exam question in May 1997 for his Momentum, Heat and Mass Transfer II class was: "Is hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with proof." Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:
"First, we postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass. If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for souls entering hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of more...