Indicate Jokes / Recent Jokes
Name: _______________ Stage name: ________________ Agent: ______________ Attorney: __________________ Sex: ___male ___female ___formerly male ___formerly female ___both If female, indicate breast implant size: ____ Will the size of your implants hinder your ability to safely operate a motor vehicle in any way? Yes___ No ___ Please list brand of cell phone: __________________ (If you don't own a cell phone, please explain.) Please check hair color: Females: [ ] Blonde [ ] Platinum Blonde Teenagers: [ ] Purple [ ] Blue [ ] Skinhead Please indicate activities you perform while driving: Check all that apply) [ ] Eating [ ] Applying make-up [ ] Talking on the phone [ ] Slapping kids in the back seat [ ] Having sex [ ] Applying cellulite treatment to thighs [ ] Tanning [X] Snorting cocaine (already checked for ease of application) [ ] Watching TV [ ] Reading Variety magazine [ ] Surfing the net via laptop Please indicate how many times a) You expect to shoot at other drivers: _____ b) How more...
Recent reports indicate the Japanese banking crisis shows no signs of improving. If anything, it`s getting worse. Following last week`s news that Origami Bank had folded, it was today learned that Sumo Bank has gone belly up. Bonsai Bank plans to cut back some of its branches. Karaoke Bank is up for sale and is going for a song. Meanwhile, shares in Kamikaze Bank have nose-dived and 500 jobs at Karate Bank will be chopped. Analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank and staff there fear they may get a raw deal.
For those of you who are not "fortunate" enough to
live in California, here is a copy of the California Driver's Exam, and for those of you who do, study real hard. This is a new exam. Since driving conditions (and
culture) are unique in Los Angeles, you may not have
realized that the California Department of Motor Vehicles has now issued a special application and driver's test solely for the Los Angeles Metropolitan Area.GREATER LOS ANGELES AREA DRIVER'S LICENSE APPLICATION:Name:___________________ Stage name:________________Agent:___________________
Attorney:_______________________Therapist's name:_________________Sex: ___male ___female ___formerly male ___formerly female ____both
*If female, indicate breast implant size: _______Will the size of your implants hinder your ability to safely operate a motor vehicle in any way? Yes___ No ___Please list brand of cell phone:________________
*If you don't own a cell phone, please more...
(Be read when using the Willy voice in your head)
SUBJ: Clinton's Address to the Nation
Text from Clinton's Address to the Nation if he were on truth serum.
10.16 P.m. ET (0216 GMT) August 17, 1998
Good evening.
This afternoon in this room, from this chair, in this very spot, I was forced to testify before the Office of Independent Counsel and the grand jury.
I answered their questions truthfully whenever there was compelling physical evidence that would contradict my lies, including questions about having sex while watching an intern do kinky things that I now spin as being part of my private life, questions so embarrassing that no American citizen would ever want to answer.
Still, the polls indicate that I must take complete responsibility for all my actions, both public and private. And that is why I am speaking to you tonight and not ducking questions while the Marine Band plays loudly and drowns out the media.
As you know, in a deposition more...
(Be read when using the Willy voice in your head)
SUBJ: Clinton's Address to the Nation
Text from Clinton's Address to the Nation if he were on truth serum.
10.16 P.m. ET (0216 GMT) August 17, 1998
Good evening.
This afternoon in this room, from this chair, in this very spot, I was forced to testify before the Office of Independent Counsel and the grand jury.
I answered their questions truthfully whenever there was compelling physical evidence that would contradict my lies, including questions about having sex while watching an intern do kinky things that I now spin as being part of my private life, questions so embarrassing that no American citizen would ever want to answer.
Still, the polls indicate that I must take complete responsibility for all my actions, both public and private. And that is why I am speaking to you tonight and not ducking questions while the Marine Band plays loudly and drowns out the media.
As you know, in a deposition more...
(Be read when using the Willy voice in your head)SUBJ: Clinton's Address to the NationText from Clinton's Address to the Nation if he were on truth serum.10.16 P.m. ET (0216 GMT) August 17, 1998Good evening.This afternoon in this room, from this chair, in this very spot, I was forced to testify before the Office of Independent Counsel and the grand jury.I answered their questions truthfully whenever there was compelling physical evidence that would contradict my lies, including questions about having sex while watching an intern do kinky things that I now spin as being part of my private life, questions so embarrassing that no American citizen would ever want to answer.Still, the polls indicate that I must take complete responsibility for all my actions, both public and private. And that is why I am speaking to you tonight and not ducking questions while the Marine Band plays loudly and drowns out the media.As you know, in a deposition in January, I was asked questions about my more...