"New California Driving Application" joke
For those of you who are not "fortunate" enough to
live in California, here is a copy of the California Driver's Exam, and for those of you who do, study real hard. This is a new exam. Since driving conditions (and
culture) are unique in Los Angeles, you may not have
realized that the California Department of Motor Vehicles has now issued a special application and driver's test solely for the Los Angeles Metropolitan Area.GREATER LOS ANGELES AREA DRIVER'S LICENSE APPLICATION:Name:___________________ Stage name:________________Agent:___________________
Attorney:_______________________Therapist's name:_________________Sex: ___male ___female ___formerly male ___formerly female ____both
*If female, indicate breast implant size: _______Will the size of your implants hinder your ability to safely operate a motor vehicle in any way? Yes___ No ___Please list brand of cell phone:________________
*If you don't own a cell phone, please explain:____________________Please check hair color:Females: [ ] Blonde [ ] Platinum Blonde
Males: [ ] Blonde [ ] Platinum Blonde [ ] Bald
Teenagers: [ ] Red [ ] Orange [ ] Green [ ] Purple [ ] Blue [ ] SkinheadPlease check activities you perform while driving: (Check all that apply)[ ] Eating
[ ] Drinking Starbucks coffee
[ ] Applying make-up (male or female)
[ ] Shaving (male or female)
[ ] Talking on the phone
[ ] Slapping kids in the back-seat
[ ] Applying cellulite treatment to thighs
[ ] Tanning
[X] Snorting cocaine (already checked for your convenience)
[ ] Watching TV
[ ] Reading Variety
[ ] Surfing the net via laptop
[ ] Discharging firearms / ReloadingPlease indicate how many times:a) you expect to shoot at other drivers _____
b) how many times you expect to be shot at while driving _____If you are the victim of a carjacking, you should immediately:a) Call the police to report the crime.
b) Call Channel 5 News to report the crime, then watch your car on
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