Innocent Jokes / Recent Jokes

A couple of days into his trial, George, the man accused of committing the crimes, stood up and asked for permission to approach the Judge.
"Your Honor," George said, "I would like to change my plea from innocent to guilty of the charges."
"If you are guilty," the Judge bellowed, banging his fist angrily on the desk, "why did you not say so in the first place and save this court a lot of time and inconvenience?"
Meekly, George explained, "Well, when the trial began I did think I was innocent, but that was before I had the opportunity to hear all the evidence against me."

A shy, drunken, innocent young man walked up to a beautiful young woman in a bar and said, "Would you mind if I ask you a personal question?"
"Yes I would," she replied, "but, go ahead. I'm sure you're going to ask me anyway."
"OK, here goes," said the shy, drunken, innocent young man. "How many men have you slept with?"
"That's my business!" snapped the woman.
"Cool!" replied the young man. "I didn't realize you made a living at it!"

The class has started and almost all the students were
in-class, prepared to expand their knowledge.
The teacher walked in and said, " Good morning class!"
and the students replied....
The teacher called out each student.
The replies were, "yes Ms. B" or "here" or "present" or
"taking a dump" or "absent"...... but for some reason, when the
teacher called out Jonny, there was no reply....
...... and there appeared our little Jonny at the door.... he
gave an innocent look.
Teacher: Jonny, why are you late?
Jonny: Ms. B, I was on top of Cherry Hill...
Teacher: Have a seat Jonny.
The teacher continued with the attendance..... and when she
called out Mark...... once again there was no reply.....
...... and there was Mark, right at the door with torn clothes....
Teacher: Mark! Are you OK?
Mark: Yes Ms. B....
Teacher: Now, what is your reason more...

After a trial had been going on for three days, Harrison, the man accused of committing the crimes, stood up and approached the judge`s bench.
"Your Honor, I would like to change my plea from innocent to guilty of the charges."
The judge angrily banged his fist on the desk. "If you`re guilty, why didn`t you say so in the first place and save this court a lot of time and inconvenience?" he demanded.
Harrison looked up wide-eyed and stated, "Well, when the trial started I thought I was innocent, but that was before I heard all the evidence against me."

Frederick II, the eighteenth-century King of Prussia, fancied himself an enlightened monarch, and in some respects he was. On one occasion he is supposed to have interested himself in conditions in the Berlin prison and was escorted through it so that he might speak to the prisoners. One after the other, the prisoners fell to their knees before him, bewailing their lot and, predictably, protesting their utter innocence of all charges that had been brought against them.
Only one prisoner remained silent, and finally Frederick's curiosity was aroused.
'You,' he called. 'You there.'
The prisoner looked up. 'Yes, Your Majesty?'
'Why are you here?'
'Armed robbery, Your Majesty.'
'And are you guilty?'
'Entirely guilty, Your Majesty. I richly deserve my punishment.'
At this Frederick rapped his cane sharply on the ground and said, 'Warden, release this guilty wretch at once. I will not have him here in jail where by example he will corrupt all the splendid more...