Intelligent Jokes / Recent Jokes

Once Laloo Yadav, Sonia Gandhi, a saint and a schoolboy were travelling by
a private plane. Suddenly the engine caught fire and the pilot came out shouting,
"This plane is going to crash! And we have only four parachutes and there are
five of us in the plane. Since I am a very important Indian Airlines pilot I am
taking one parachute and getting out of here." Saying this he rushed to the
luggage area grabbed one parachute and jumped offthe plane.
Sonia Gandhi said, "Since I am the future Prime Minister of India I am very
important and have to live!" She also grabbed a parachute and jumped.
Laloo Yadav said, "I am the king-maker of this country, the most honest
politician of India and above all the most intelligent person living in this country,
and the most intelligent person must live!" Saying so Laloo went to the luggage
area, grabbed one and jumped off the plane.
The old saint said to the school boy, more...

[Note - a few years old, and a search didn't reveal either a copyright or an
attribution. Earliest claim I could find was dated Aug 1993 by
[email protected] - ed]
AD&D Monster Manual IV
Barney
CLIMATE/TERRAIN: Nine Hells, Gehenna, Hades, The Abyss, PBS
FREQUENCY: Very rare or daily at 4 pm
ORGANIZATION: Solitary
ACTIVITY CYCLE: Day
DIET: Little children's minds
INTELLIGENCE: Insipid (-12)
TREASURE: Merchandising contracts
ALIGNMENT: Purple evil
NO. APPEARING: 1 (may be attended by 1-100 Barney zombies, see below)
ARMOR CLASS: 10 (big and plush)
MOVEMENT: 3
HIT DICE: 8
THAC0: 12
NO. OF ATTACKS: 2
DAMAGE/ATTACK: 1-10 (x2)
SPECIAL ATTACKS: Hug (damage 3-30)
SPECIAL DEFENSES: Aura of intolerable idiocy
MAGIC RESISTANCE: 90%
SIZE: L (8' tall)
MORALE: Stupid (30)
XP VALUE: 4,000
Barney is a demon from the lower planes, a great purple and plush deformed
dinosaur. It is the more...

One There Was Two Boys One Very Intelligent And One Very Dull- Both Went For There Admission In New School Firt Principal Called The Intelligent Child. Principal To Child - Who Was The First Prime Minister Of India. Child- Pandit Jawaharlal Nehru. Principal-Where Do We Throw Rubbish. Child-In Dustbin. Principal-How Many Stars R There In Universe. Child -Scientists R Discoveringthe Principal Saya Him Very Good N Now Send The Other Child Inside. The Intelligentchild Went Outside N Told All The Answer To The Dull One Cause He Was His Brother Dull Went Inside Principal-What Is Ur Name. Dull Child -Pandit Jawaharlal Nehru. Principal-Where Do U Live. Dull...-In Dust Bin. Principal- R U Mad. Dull....-Scientist R Discoverying

An aircraft is about to crash. There are five passengers on board, but unfortunately only 4 parachutes. The first passenger says, "I'm Shaquille O'Neill, the best NBA basketball player. The Lakers need me, it would be unfair to them if I died." So he takes the first parachute and jumps. The second passenger, Hillary Clinton, says, "I am the wife of the former President of the United States. I am also the most dedicated woman in the world, a Senator in New York and America's potential future President". She takes one of the parachutes and jumps. The third passenger, George W. Bush, says, "I am the President of the United States of America. I have a huge responsibility in world politics. And apart from that, I am the most intelligent President in the history of the country and I have a responsibility to my people not to die." So he takes a parachute and jumps. The fourth passenger, th e Pope, says to the fifth passenger, a ten year old schoolboy, "I am more...

This test is to gauge your mental flexibility and creativity. In the three years since it has been developed, it has been found that few people can solve more then half on the first day. Many reported getting answers long after the test had been set aside, at unexpected moments when their minds were relaxed, and some reported solving it over a period of several days.

Example 16 = O in a P Answer: 16 Ounces in a Pound

1) 26=L of the A

2) 7 = D of the W

3) 1001 = A N

4) 12 = S of the Z

5) 54 = C in a D (with J)

6) 9 = P in the S S

7) 88 = P K

8) 13 = S on the A F

9) 32 = D at which W F

10) 18 = H on a G C

11) 90 = D in a R A

12) 8 = S on a S S

13) 3 = B M (S H T R)

14) 4 = Q in a G

15) 24 = H in a D

16) 1 = W on a U

17) 5 = D in a Z C

18) 57 = H V

19) 11 = P on a F B more...