Interview Jokes / Recent Jokes

Three married couples, aged 20, 30, and 40 years old, want to join the Orthodox
Church of Sexual Repression. Near the end of the interview, the priest
informs them that before they can be accepted they will have to pass one
small test. They will have to abstain from all sex for a month. They all
agree to try.
A month later they are having their final interview with the cleric. He
asks the 40 year old couple how they did. "Well, it wasn't too hard. I
spent a lot of time in the workshop and she has a garden so we had plenty
of other things to do. We did OK." the husband said.
"Very good, my children. You are welcome in the Church. And how well did
you manage?" he asked the 30 year old couple.
"It was pretty difficult," the husband answered. "We thought about it all
the time. We had to sleep in different beds and we prayed a lot. But we
were celibate for the entire month."
"Very good, my more...

In a surprise interview, Monica was asked about the details of her late
night meetings with the President...
"I can't remember the details, she said, but I know the answer is on the
tip of my tongue!"

We have all been through job interviews, and we have spent most of the time thinking of what not to do that might make us look bad. Some job applicants however go light years beyond this. What follows is a survey of top personnel executives of 100 major American corporations who were asked for stories of unusual behavior by job applicants. What follows is an unbelievable list of what we can only call "the lowlights." 1. Said he was so well qualified that if he didn't get the job, it would show that the company's management was incompetent. 2. Stretched out on the floor to fill out the job application. 3. Brought her large dog to the interview. 4. Chewed bubble gum and constantly blew bubbles. 5. Candidate kept giggling through a serious interview. 6. She wore a Walkman and said she could listen to me and the music at the same time. 7. Bald candidate abruptly excused himself. Returned a few minutes later wearing a hairpiece. 8. Applicant challenged interviewer to arm wrestle. more...

We've all been interviewed for jobs. And, we've all spent most of those interviews thinking about what not to do. Don't bite your nails. Don't fidget. Don't interrupt. Don't belch. If we did any of the don'ts, we knew we'd disqualify ourselves instantly. But some job applicants go light years beyond this. We surveyed top personnel executives of 100 major American corporations and asked for stories of unusual behavior by job applicants.
The lowlights:
1. "... stretched out on the floor to fill out the job application."
2. "She wore a Walkman and said she could listen to me and the music at the same time."
3. " A balding candidate abruptly excused himself. Returned to office a few minutes later, wearing a hairpiece."
4. "... asked to see interviewer's resume to see if the personnel executive was qualified to judge the candidate."
5. "... announced she hadn't had lunch and proceeded to eat a hamburger and french more...

Once Banta Singh attended to an Interview.
Interviewer: Give me the opposite words.
Banta Singh: Ok
Interviewer: Made in India
Banta Singh: Destroyed in Pakistan
Interviewer: Keep it Up
Banta Singh: Put it Down
Interviewer: Maxi Mum
Banta Singh: Mini Dad
Interviewer: Enough! Take your Seat
Banta Singh: Don't take my seat
Interviewer: Idiot! Take your Seat
Banta Singh: Clever! Don't take my Seat
Interviewer: I say you get out!
Banta Singh: You didn't say I come in
Interviewer: I reject you!
Banta Singh: You Appoint me
Interviewer: . ......................

See photo of interviewer's family on desk, point, start laughing uncontrollably.Ask if there is only one emergency exit, grin and say;' Boy!, I bet this floor would be in trouble if someone barricaded that.'Constantly fidget with underwear waistband, then blurt:' The strawberry ones are the stickiest, don't ya' think?'After detailing your greatest achievement, qualify with,' Of course I was totally hammered at the time.'Inquire on office policy of friends staying over.Claim you wouldn't even need a sit-in' job if Al Einstein hadn't stolen your secret patent for-' 2000 Flushes'Over-emphasize your ability to use a copier. Ask if it's O.K. that you sit on the floor.Allow that you would have little impact on the overhead budget, because you swiped all the supplies from your other job.Although parking is free, insist that they validate something or you're not leaving. Mention your resume would have been stronger, but you didn't feel like making anything else up.Ask secretary if she'll sit more...

There was this English Man, Scotch Man and an Irish Man going for a job interview.
They all had there induction exams, and where all called back one at a time.
The English man walks in first, and the interviewer says: "Well, you past your exam with flying colours! But theres one thing I like about a man and thats honesty, so can you notice anything odd about me?"
The English man looks and nods: "Yes, you've got one ear on the top of your head, and one at the side of you head!"
The interviewer was very pleased with the English mans honesty, and sent for the Scott. The interviewer goes through the same routine again and comes to the final question, and the Scott replies: "well, you've got one ear on top of your head and another at the side of you head!"
The interviewer again very pleased with the Sotts honesty sent for the Irish man. The interviewer precedes with the same rigmarole, and comes to the final question "Can you notice more...