Interview Jokes / Recent Jokes

In an interview yesterday former President Jimmy Carter was extremely critical of President Bush. His exact quote was `He is the worst president since me.`

A man went in for an interview for a job as a sales man. The interview went
quite well, but the trouble was that he kept winking.
The interviewer said, "Although you have a lot of the qualities we are looking
for, the fact that you keep winking could put a lot of our potential customers
off."
"Oh, that is no problem," said the man. "I stop winking if I take a couple of
aspirin."
"Show me," said the interviewer.
So the man reached into his pocket. Embarrassingly he pulled out loads of
condoms of every variety - ribbed, flavoured, coloured and everything before he
found the packet of aspirin. He took an aspirin and soon stopped winking.
The interviewer said, "I do not think we could employ someone who would be
womanizing all over the country."
"Excuse me!" exclaimed the man, "I am a happily married man, not a womanizer!"
"Well, how do you explain all the more...

Kowalski, fresh out of accounting school, went to a interview for a good paying job. The company boss asked various questions about him and his education, but then asked him, "What is three times seven?""Twenty-two," Kowalski replied.After he left, he double-checked it on his calculator (he knew he should have taken it to the interview!) and realized he wouldn't get the job.About two weeks later, he got a letter that said he was hired for the job! He was not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, but was still very curious.The next day, Kowalski went in and asked why he got the job, even though he got such a simple question wrong. The boss shrugged and said, "Well, you were the closest."

Using the following list will most certainly keep your afternoons free and enable you to watch those cool Oprah and Sally shows.
When filling out the job application form, under the heading 'Sex', instead of writing male or female, write in, "Not nearly enough, but I'm trying!"
In the same form under the heading 'Have you ever been convicted of a crime?' answer, "Not yet".
Show up late for the interview and try to rationalize it by saying, "My mom forgot to wake me again." This is in especially bad taste if you happen to be in your forties or older.
When meeting the interviewer for the first time, shake his hand and say: "You look familiar. I'm sure I've seen you before somewhere. Weren't you in the cell next to mine at Sing Sing?"
Tell the employer you will need a salary of at least $40k because the price of cocaine has gone up.
When asked why you left your last job, say: "Ah, well, my employer died under mysterious more...

There was this English Man, Scotch Man and an Irish Man going for a job interview.
They all had there induction exams, and where all called back one at a time.
The English man walks in first, and the interviewer says: "Well, you past your exam with flying colours! But theres one thing I like about a man and thats honesty, so can you notice anything odd about me?"
The English man looks and nods: "Yes, you've got one ear on the top of your head, and one at the side of you head!"
The interviewer was very pleased with the English mans honesty, and sent for the Scott. The interviewer goes through the same routine again and comes to the final question, and the Scott replies: "well, you've got one ear on top of your head and another at the side of you head!"
The interviewer again very pleased with the Sotts honesty sent for the Irish man. The interviewer precedes with the same rigmarole, and comes to the final question "Can you more...

Job Interview Quotations

Vice Presidents and personnel directors of the one hundred largest corporations were asked to describe their most unusual experience interviewing prospective employees.

A job applicant challenged the interviewer to an arm wrestle.

Interviewee wore a Walkman, explaining that she could listen to the interviewer and the music at the same time.

Candidate fell and broke arm during interview.

Candidate announced she hadn't had lunch and proceeded to eat a hamburger and french fies in the interviewers office.

Candidate explained that her long-term goals was to replace the interviewer.

Candidate said he never finished high school because he was kidnapped and kept in a closet in Mexico.

Balding Candidate excused himself and returned to the office a few minutes later wearing a headpiece.

Applicant said if he was hired he would demonstrate his loyalty by having the more...

Three men were applying for the same job as a detective. Onewas a Sardarji, one was Jewish, and one was Italian. The chief decided to ask each applicant just one question and base his decision uponthat answer.
When the Jewish man arrived for his interview, the chief asked him, "Who killed Jesus Christ?" The Jewish man answeredwithout hesitation "The Romans killed him." The chief thanked himand he left.
When the Italian man arrived for his interview, the chief asked the samequestion. He replied "Jesus was killed by the Jews." Again, the chiefthanked the man who then left.
Finally the Sardarji arrived for hisinterview, he was asked the same question. He thought for a long time, before saying, "Could I have some time to think about it?" The chief said, "OK, but get back to me tomorrow."
When the Sardarji arrived home, his wife asked "How did theinterview go?". Pat came the reply, "Great, I got the job, more...