Interview Jokes / Recent Jokes
A boss has to interview four girls for a secretary's position.
He thought of a question and asked each one of them:
Boss: "A woman normally has two mouths, What's the difference between the two?"
The first one answered: One can talk but the other can't.
Second answered: one is vertical and the other is horizontal.
Third answered: one is hairy, the other isn't.
The last one answered: One is for my use and the other is for my boss.
Boss: You're silected.
This is a portion of a radio interview between a Female Broadcaster and a Military Man, who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: So, Sir, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?
MILITARY MAN: We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery and shooting.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?
MILITARY MAN: I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?
MILITARY MAN: I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: But you're equipping them to become violent killers.
MILITARY MAN: Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?
THE RADIO WENT SILENT.
INTERVIEW ENDED.
Three men applied for the job of a detective: Santa from India, Marc Grayberg, a Jew; and Tom Silanti, an Italian.
The chief decided to ask each applicant just one question and base his decision upon the answer. When Grayberg arrived for his interview, the chief asked him,' Who killed Jesus Christ?' He answered without hesitation,' The Romans killed him.' The chief thanked him and he left.
When Silanti arrived for his interview, the chief asked him the same question. He replied,' Jesus was killed by the Jews.' The chief. thanked him also and he left.
Finally, Santa arrived for his interview and was asked the same question. He thought for a long time, before saying,' Could I have some time to think about it?' The chief said,' Ok, but get back to me tomorrow.'
When Santa arrived home, his wife asked,' How did the interview go?' Pat came the reply,' Great, I got the job, and I'm already investigating a murder!'
Santa Singh is called for an interview in some firm. He lands there on time. He is immediately hauled inside in front of the interviewing officer.
Officer looks at Santa singh Then goes thru his certificates and then starts asking him questions.
Following is the transcript: O: Mr. Santa Singh, after seeing your qualifications & credentials I would like to ask you only some simple questions. If you can answer those then you are selected. First we will start with some opposites.
S: Yes Sir.
Officer started asking questions.
O: Above
S: Below
O: Front
S: Back
O: Left
S: Right
O: Male
S: Female
O: Ugly (means Next in Punjabi)
S: Pichhly (means Previous in Punjabi)
O: Ugly... U-G-L-Y( Officer spells it)
S: Pichhly... P-I-C-H-H-L-Y( Our sardar also spells it)
O: U..... G..... L. ..... Y.....(Officer shouts)
S: P. .... I. .... C. .... H. ...... H. ..... L. .... Y......
Our sardar also more...
A guy went to apply for a job with the U. S. Postal Service. During the interview, the interviewer asked the guy if he was a veteran. The guy said "Yes, I fought over in Vietnam."
Then the interviewer asked if the guy had any disabilities. The guy responded, "Well, I stepped on a landmine over there and blew my testicles off."
"Great!" the interviewer responded. "We give disabled vets preference. You can start tomorrow morning at 10 a. m."
"But doesn't everyone normally start at 8 a. m.?" asked the guy.
"Yes, but you don't have to come in until 10. All we do is just stand around and scratch our balls for the first two hours anyway."
A survey of top personnel executives of 100 major American corporations asking for stories of unusual behavior by job applicants revealed the following low-lights:
1. ''... stretched out on the floor to fill out the job application.''
2. ''She wore a Walkman and said she could listen to me and the music at the same time.''
3. ''A balding candidate abruptly excused himself. Returned to office a few minutes later, wearing a hairpiece.''
4. ''... asked to see interviewer's resume to see if the personnel executive was qualified to judge the candidate.''
5. ''... announced she hadn't had lunch and proceeded to eat a hamburger and french fries in the interviewer's office - wiping the ketchup on her sleeve''
6. ''Stated that, if he were hired, he would demonstrate his loyalty by having the corporate logo tattooed on his forearm.''
7. ''Interrupted to phone his therapist for advice on answering specific interview questions.''
8. ''When I asked him about his more...
Reaching the end of a job interview, the human resources person asked a young engineer who was fresh out of IIT, "What starting salary were you thinking about?" The engineer said, "About Rsl25, 000 a month, depending on the benefits package." The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, a furnished flat, full medical and dental, company matching pension fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years-say, a Skoda?" The engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?" The interviewer replied, "Yeah, but you started it."