Interviewer Jokes / Recent Jokes
Reaching the end of a job interview, the human resources person asked a young applicant fresh out of business school, "and
What starting salary are you looking for?" the applicant said, "in the neighborhood of $125, 000 a year, depending on the
Benefits package." the interviewer said, "well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full
Medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years - say, a red
Corvette?" the applicant sat up straight and said, "wow! Are you kidding?" and the interviewer replied, "yeah, but you
Started it."
Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?"
Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."
Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman.
Interviewer: "What were you before you married her?"
Millionaire: "A Billionaire"
A bloke goes to the Post Office to apply for a job. The interviewer asks him,' Have you been in the services?' Yes,' he says.' I was in the armed forces for three years.'
The interviewer says,' That will give you extra points toward
employment', and then asks,' Are you disabled in any way?'
The guy says,' Yes, 100%. A mortar round exploded near me and blew my testicles off.'
The interviewer tells the guy,' OK, I can hire you right now. The hours are from 8: 00 AM till 5: 00 PM. You can start tomorrow. Come in at 10: 00 AM'
The guy is puzzled and says,' If the hours are from 8: 00 AM to 5: 00 PM, then why do you want me to come in at 10: 00 AM?'
'This is a government job', the interviewer says.' For the first two hours we stand around scratching our balls. No point in you coming in for that.'
A guy went to apply for a job with the U. S. Postal Service. During the interview, the interviewer asked the guy if he was a veteran. The guy said "Yes, I fought over in Vietnam."
Then the interviewer asked if the guy had any disabilities. The guy responded, "Well, I stepped on a landmine over there and blew my testicles off."
"Great!" the interviewer responded. "We give disabled vets preference. You can start tomorrow morning at 10 a. m."
"But doesn't everyone normally start at 8 a. m.?" asked the guy.
"Yes, but you don't have to come in until 10. All we do is just stand around and scratch our balls for the first two hours anyway."
A survey of top personnel executives of 100 major American corporations asking for stories of unusual behavior by job applicants revealed the following low-lights:
1. ''... stretched out on the floor to fill out the job application.''
2. ''She wore a Walkman and said she could listen to me and the music at the same time.''
3. ''A balding candidate abruptly excused himself. Returned to office a few minutes later, wearing a hairpiece.''
4. ''... asked to see interviewer's resume to see if the personnel executive was qualified to judge the candidate.''
5. ''... announced she hadn't had lunch and proceeded to eat a hamburger and french fries in the interviewer's office - wiping the ketchup on her sleeve''
6. ''Stated that, if he were hired, he would demonstrate his loyalty by having the corporate logo tattooed on his forearm.''
7. ''Interrupted to phone his therapist for advice on answering specific interview questions.''
8. ''When I asked him about his more...
Four Guys, From Harvard, Yale, Mit And Santa Singh From Punjab University Were To Be Interviewed For A Prestigious Job. One Common Question Was Asked To All 4 Of Them.
Interviewer: Which Is The Fastest Thing In The World?
1. Yale Guy: Its Light, Nothing Can Travel Faster Than Light.
2. Harvard Guy: It's The Thought; b'cos Thought Is So Fast It Comes Instantly In Your Mind.
3. Mit Guy: Its Blink, You Can Blink And Its Hard To Realize You Blinked
4. Santa Singh: Its Loose Motion
Interviewer: (Shocked To Hear Santa's Reply, Asked) "Why"?
Santa Singh: Last Night After Dinner, I Was Lying In My Bed And I Got The Worst Stomach Cramps, And Before I Could Think, Blink, Or Turn On The Lights, It Was Over!!!!
The Interviewer Then Told Santa Singh To Wear Red Coloured Shorts During Such Situations.
Santa Was Confused; He Asked "Red Shorts? ?? How Does It Help"
The Interviewer Told "Dont You Know more...
Reaching the end of a job interview, the human resources person asked a young engineer who was fresh out of IIT, "What starting salary were you thinking about?" The engineer said, "About Rsl25, 000 a month, depending on the benefits package." The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, a furnished flat, full medical and dental, company matching pension fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years-say, a Skoda?" The engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?" The interviewer replied, "Yeah, but you started it."