Interviewer Jokes / Recent Jokes

Interviewer: How do you spell Mississippi? Redneck: Which one? The river or the state?

Note: This is an extract of a National Public Radio (NPR) interview between a female broadcaster, and US Army General Reinwald who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation. INTERVIEWER: " So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?" GENERAL REINWALD: We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting." INTERVIEWER: "Shooting! that's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?" GENERAL REINWALD: "I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range." INTERVIEWER: "Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?" GENERAL REINWALD: "I don't see how,. ... we will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm." INTERVIEWER: "But you're equipping them to become violent killers." GENERAL REINWALD: "Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not more...

Personnel executives of 100 major corporations were asked for stories of unusual behavior by job applicants.

1. "... stretched out on the floor to fill out the job application."

2. "She wore a Walkman and said she could listen to me and the music at the same time."

3. " A balding candidate abruptly excused himself. Returned to office a few minutes later, wearing a hairpiece."

4. "... asked to see interviewer's resume to see if the personnel executive was qualified to judge the candidate."

5. "... announced she hadn't had lunch and proceeded to eat a hamburger and french fries in the interviewer's office - wiping the ketchup on her sleeve"

6. "Stated that, if he were hired, he would demonstrate his loyalty by having the corporate logo tattooed on his forearm."

7. "Interrupted to phone his therapist for advice on answer- ing specific interview more...

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Interviewer: What is your birth date?
Udurawana: 13th October
Interviewer: Which year?
Udurawana: EVERY YEAR
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Manager asked Udurawana at an interview Can you spell
a word that has more than 100 letters in it?
Udurawana replyed: -P-O-S-T-B-O- X.

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After returning back from a foreign trip, Udurawana asked
his wife, Do I look like a foreigner?
Wife: No! Why?
Udurawana: In London a lady asked me "Are you a foreigner?"

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One tourist from U. S. A. asked Udurawana
"Any great man born in this village???"
Udurawana: no sir, only small Babies!!!
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In the university, lecturer asked to write a note on "Buddha Jayanthi" So more...

The CBI is considering three men to be hired. They bring them in to speak with the interviewer separately. The first man comes in and sits down. The interviewer asks him:
"Do you love your wife?"
"Yes I do, sir."
"Do you love your country?"
"Yes I do, sir."
"What do you love more, your wife or your country?"
"My country, sir."
"Okay. We brought in your wife. Take this gun and go into the next room and kill her."
The man goes into the room, and all is silent for about 5 minutes. He comes back, with his tie loosened and he is all sweaty. He puts down the gun and leaves.
The second guy comes in and sits down. The interviewer asks him the same questions, and the responses are the same. The interviewer gives him a gun, and tells him to go kill his wife.
The guy puts the gun down and says "I can't do it..."
The third guy, Our Santa comes in, the same thing happens. The more...

Guy goes to the U. S. Post Office to apply for a job. The interviewer asks him, "Have you been in the service?"
"Yes," he says. "I was in Vietnam for three years"
The interviewer says, "That will give you extra points toward employment" and then asks, "Are you disabled in any way?"
The guy says, "Yes 100%... a mortar round exploded near me and blew my testicles off."
The interviewer tells the guy, "O. K. I can hire you right now. The hours are from 8: 00 A. M. to 4: 00 P. M. You can start tomorrow. Come in at 10: 00 A. M."
The guy is puzzled and says, "If the hours are from 8: 00A. M. to 4: 00 P. M. then why do you want me to come in at 10: 00 A. M."

"This is a government job..." the interviewer says. "For the first two hours we sit around scratching our balls....... no point in your coming in for that..."

See photo of interviewer's family on desk, point, start laughing uncontrollably. Ask if there is only one emergency exit, grin and say;' Boy!, I bet this floor would be in trouble if someone barricaded that.' Constantly fidget with underwear waistband, then blurt:' The strawberry ones are the stickiest, don't ya' think?' After detailing your greatest achievement, qualify with,' Of course I was totally hammered at the time.' Inquire on office policy of friends staying over. Claim you wouldn't even need a sit-in job if Al Einstein hadn't stolen your secret patent for' 2000 Flushes'. Over-emphasize your ability to use a copier. Ask if it's O.K. that you sit on the floor. Allow that you would little impact on the overhead budget, because you swiped all the supplies from your other job. Although parking was free, insist that they validate something or you're not leaving. Mention your resume would have been stronger, but you didn't feel like making anything else up. Ask the secretary if more...