Interviewer Jokes / Recent Jokes
NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars. Only one could go, but with one catch - he couldn't return to Earth. The first applicant, an engineer, was asked how much he wanted to be paid for going. "One million dollars," he answered, "because I want to donate it to M. I. T." The next applicant, a doctor, was asked the same question. He asked for two million. "I want to give a million to my family," he explained, "and leave the other million for the advancement of medical research." The last applicant was a lawyer. When asked how much money he wanted, he whispered in the interviewer's ear, "Three million dollars." "Why so much more than the others?" the interviewer asked. The lawyer replied, "If you give me $3 million, I'll give you $1 million, I'll keep $1 million, and we'll send the engineer."
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked ayoung engineer fresh out of MIT, "What starting salary were you lookingfor?" The engineer replied, "In the neighborhood of $125, 000 a year, dependingon the benefits package." The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5 weeksvacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matchingretirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years-- say, a red Corvette?" The Engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?" The interviewer replied, "Well Yeah, but you started it."
A man lost both his ears in a very serious automobile accident but as a result received a large insurance settlement. After some period of time he realized that he needed an assistant to help him manage his money.
He decided to interview several candidates.
The first candidate was very impressive and answered all the questions satisfactorily. The interviewer then posed one final questions, "Do you notice anything unusual about me?"
"Well, yes," the candidate replied. "You don't have any ears." The interviewer was outraged as he was very sensitive about his lack of ears and dismissed the candidate.
The second candidate was a very attractive woman who also answered all the questions satisfactorily. Again the interviewer posed one final questions, "Do you notice anything unusual about me?"
"Well, yes," the woman replied. "You don't have any ears." The angry interviewer dismissed her immediately.
The third more...
Job Interview Quotations
Vice Presidents and personnel directors of the one hundred largest corporations were asked to describe their most unusual experience interviewing prospective employees.
A job applicant challenged the interviewer to an arm wrestle.
Interviewee wore a Walkman, explaining that she could listen to the interviewer and the music at the same time.
Candidate fell and broke arm during interview.
Candidate announced she hadn`t had lunch and proceeded to eat a hamburger and french fies in the interviewers office.
Candidate explained that her long-term goals was to replace the interviewer.
Candidate said he never finished high school because he was kidnapped and kept in a closet in Mexico.
Balding Candidate excused himself and returned to the office a few minutes later wearing a headpiece.
Applicant said if he was hired he would demonstrate his loyalty by having the corporate logo tattooed on his more...
A guy goes in to apply at the U. S. Postal Service for a job.
During the interview, the interviewer asks the guy if he is a veteran. The guy says "Yes, I fought over in Vietnam."
Then the interviewer asks if the guy has any disabilities.
The guy responds, "Well, I stepped on a land mine over there and blew my testicles off."
"Great!," responds the interviewer... we give disabled Vet preference. "You can start tomorrow morning at 10 a. m."
"But doesn't everyone normally start at 8 a. m.?", asks the guy.
"Yes, but you don't have to come in until 10...
All we do is just stand around and scratch our balls for the first two hours anyway!"
1. A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning.
The wife (a blonde), picked up the phone, listened for a moment and said,
"How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up.
Curious, the husband said, "Who was that?"
And his lovely wife replies, "I don't have any idea who it was. It was some stupid woman wanting to know 'if the coast is clear.'"
2 Passing an office building late one night, a blonde saw a sign that said, "Press bell for night watchman."
She did so, and after several minutes she heard the watchman clomping down the stairs.
The uniformed man proceeded to unlock first one gate, then another, shut down the alarm system, and finally made his way through the revolving door.
"Well," he snarled at the blonde, "what do you want?"
"I just want to know why you can't ring the bell for yourself?"
3. A blonde airhead goes for a job more...
Reaching the end of a job interview, the human resources person askeda young engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were youlooking for?"The engineer said, "In the neighborhood of $125, 000 a year, dependingon the benefits package."The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a package of5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, companymatching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leasedevery 2 years - say, a red Corvette?"The Engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?"And the interviewer replied, "Yeah, but you started it."