Interviewer Jokes / Recent Jokes

Three guys go in for a job interview, all at the same office. The first one goes in for his interview and the interviewer says, "What's the first thing you see when you look at me?" The guy says, "That's not too hard, you've got no ears." The interviewer says, "That's it, get out, you'll never be seen around here again." The second man takes his turn and is asked the same question. The applicant replies, "Uh, you've got no ears." The interviewer throws the guy out, cursing and yelling that he'll never get a job with his company. As he is leaving, the second guy warns the third guy, "Listen man, whatever you do, don't say he hasn't got any ears. He's so touchy with the ear thing." "Okay," said man #3 on his way into the office. Once inside he is told, "Name the first thing you notice when you look at me." The guy answers, "That's easy, you wear contacts." The interviewer was flabbergasted, "How on earth

Interviewer: Give me the opposite words.
Banta Singh: Ok
Interviewer: Made in India
Banta Singh: Destroyed in Pakistan
Interviewer: Good... Keep it Up
Banta Singh: Bad... Put it Down
Interviewer: Maxi Mum
Banta Singh: Mini Dad
Interviewer: Enough! Take your Seat
Banta Singh: Insufficient! Don't Take my seat
Interviewer: Idiot! Take your Seat
Banta Singh: Clever! Don't take my Seat
Interviewer: I say you get out!
Banta Singh: You didn't say I come in
Interviewer: I reject you!
Banta Singh: You Appoint me
Interviewer :....!!!

Interviewer: Give me the opposite words.
Banta Singh: OK.
Interviewer: Made in India.
Banta Singh: Destroyed in Pakistan.
Interviewer: Good... Keep it up.
Banta Singh: Bad... Put it down.
Interviewer: Maxi - mum
Banta Singh: Mini - dad
Interviewer: Enough! Take your seat.
Banta Singh: Insufficient! Don't take my seat .
Interviewer: Idiot! Take your seat .
Banta Singh: Clever! Don't take my seat .
Interviewer: I say you get out!
Banta Singh: You didn't say I come in .
Interviewer: I reject you!
Banta Singh: You appoint me .
Interviewer :... !!!

The CIA advertised for new recruits. Three men answered and went to the office
for an interview.
After filling out their applications, they were taken one at a time into another
room where the interviewer told them, "One of the requirements for joining the
CIA is that you have to prove your loyalty to us. We want you to take this gun,
go in the other room and shoot your wife!"
Startled, the first job seeker replied, "I cannot do that, we just got married!"
The interviewer then told him that he was sorry, but that he would not receive a
job offer.
The second applicant was then taken into the room and given the same proposal,
to which he answered, "I cannot do that. We have been married 10 years and we
have two lovely children!"
At that point, he was turned away also.
The last applicant was presented with the ultimatum in the same monotone to
which he replied, "Sure, I will do it!"
He more...

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked
a young Engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you
looking for?"
The Engineer said, "In the neighborhood of $125, 000 a year, depending
on the benefits package."
The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a package of
5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company
matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased
every 2 years - say, a red Corvette?"
The Engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?"
And the interviewer replied, "Yeah, but you started it."

Interviewer asks in America: "Excuse me, what is your opinion
on the meat shortage?"
And the reply is... " 'Shortage?' What's a 'shortage?'"
Interviewer asks in Poland: "Excuse me, what is your opinion
on the meat shortage?"
And the reply is... " 'Meat?' What's 'meat?'"
Interviewer asks in Russia: "Excuse me, what is your opinion
on the meat shortage?
And the reply is... " 'Opinion?' What's an 'opinion?'"
Interviewer asks in Israel: "Excuse me, what is your opinion
on the meat shortage?"
And the reply is... " 'Excuse me?' What's 'excuse me?'"

A guy goes in to apply at the U.S. Postal Service for a job.
During the interview, the interviewer asks the guy if he is a veteran. The guy says "Yes, I fought over in Vietnam."
Then the interviewer asks if the guy has any disabilities.
The guy responds, "Well, I stepped on a land mine over there and blew my testicles off."
"Great!," responds the interviewer... we give disabled Vet preference. "You can start tomorrow morning at 10 a.m."
"But doesn't everyone normally start at 8 a.m.?", asks the guy.
"Yes, but you don't have to come in until 10...
All we do is just stand around and scratch our balls for the first two hours anyway!"