Interviewing Jokes

A seargent is interviewing three cadets who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first cadet a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?" The first cadet answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!" The seargent says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture I showed is his side profile." Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second cadet and asks him, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?" The second cadet smiles, and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!" The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?!" Extremely frustrated at this point, he more...

NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars. Only one could go and couldn? t return to Earth. The first applicant, an engineer, was asked how much he wanted to be paid for going. "A million dollars," he answered, "because I want to donate it to M. I. T."The next applicant, a doctor, was asked the same question. He asked for $2 million. "I want to give a million to my family," he explained, "and leave the other million for the advancement of medical research."The last applicant was a lawyer. When asked how much money he wanted, he whispered in the interviewer? s ear, "Three million dollars.""Why so much more than the others?" asked the interviewer. The lawyer replied, "If you give me $3 million, I? ll give you $1 million, I? ll keep $1 million, and we? ll send the engineer to Mars."

After interviewing a particularly short-spoken job candidate, I described the person to my boss as rather monosyllabic. My boss said, "Really? Where is Monosyllabia?". Thinking that he was just kidding, I played along and said that it was just south of Elbonia. He replied, "Oh, you mean over by Croatia?"

A farmer was interviewing a young man for the job of assistant farmhand. `You'll need to be fit,' said the farmer. `Have you ever had any illnesses? Any accidents?'' No, sir,' replied the young man proudly. `But you're on crutches. You must have had an accident!' said the farmer. `Oh, the crutches!' said the young man. `A bull tossed me last week. But that wasn't an accident! He did it on purpose!'

His girlfriend`s father was interviewing Young Charles.
"So," said that impressive personage, "you want to be my so-in-law, do you?
"Not particularly," said Charles tactlessly, "but if I want to marry your daughter I haven`t much choice, have I?"