Intimacy Jokes

Here it is nicely illustrated:
Let's say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else. And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Elaine, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud:' 'Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?'' And then there is silence in the car. To Elaine, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of.
And Roger is thinking: Gosh. Six months.
And Elaine is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I more...

The Franklin Factor:
Early to bed and early to rise means it's time to meet more guys.

The Rat Race:
If there's one rat in a room full of nice men, he'll hit on you first.

The Eyeglass Prescription:
Don't wear your glasses on a blind date.
You'll look better, and he will too.

The Ring Rule:
A watched telephone never rings.

The Creep Call:
Never pick up the phone on Saturday night.
It's a call from a creep you told you were busy.

The Fishing Forecast:
They say there are lots of good fish in the sea.
But who wants to go out with a fish?

The Psychological Prognosis:
Love is a form of temporary insanity curable by marriage.

The Rope Trick:
Give a man enough rope and he'll lasso another woman.

Mind Over Matter:
No one ever falls in love with another person's mind at a cocktail party.

The Fault Finder:
The faster way to discover more...

Taught by men, for women. 101
Avoiding Walking in Front of the TV 102
Doing Housework Without Complaining 103
Shopping: Buying What You Can Afford, Not What You Can Charge 104
Going to The Washroom Alone
(formerly Coping Without My Friends) 105
Understanding the Male Response to "Do I Look OK?" 106
Exercise: How it Keeps You from Looking Like Your Mother 107
Learning How to Initiate Intimacy 108
How to Apologize When You Are Obviously Wrong 109
Understanding the Male Response to "Am I Fat?" 110
Dishwashers: Rinsing Before Is Not a Must 111
The Toilet Seat: I Can Learn to Put It Down Too 112
Using the Thesaurus: Alternatives to "Make Love" 113
"The Weekend" and "Long Boring Walks" Are Not Synonymous 114
How to Go Shopping With Your Mate and Not Embarrass Him 115
The Remote Control: Don't Touch What You Can't Handle 116
You Too Can Be the One to Hang Up the Phone more...

Girl Lingo: The Franklin Factor: Early to bed and early to rise means it's time to meet more guys. The Rat Race: If there's one rat in a room full of nice men, he'll hit on you first. The Eyeglass Prescription: Don't wear your glasses on a blind date. You'll look better, and he will too. The Ring Rule: A watched telephone never rings. The Creep Call: Never pick up the phone on Saturday night. It's a call from a creep you told you were busy. The Fishing Forecast: They say there are lots of good fish in the sea. But who wants to go out with a fish? The Psychological Prognosis: Love is a form of temporary insanity curable by marriage. The Rope Trick: Give a man enough rope and he'll lasso another woman. Mind Over Matter: No one ever falls in love with another person's mind at a cocktail party. The Fault Finder: The faster way to discover all your bad habits is to move in with your lover. The Unintended Result: 1) Men's desire for sex sometimes results in intimacy; 1a) Men often go more...

Girl Lingo:The Franklin Factor: Early to bed and early to rise means it's time to meet more guys.The Rat Race: If there's one rat in a room full of nice men, he'll hit on you first.The Eyeglass Prescription: Don't wear your glasses on a blind date. You'll look better, and he will too.The Ring Rule: A watched telephone never rings.The Creep Call: Never pick up the phone on Saturday night. It's a call from a creep you told you were busy.The Fishing Forecast: They say there are lots of good fish in the sea. But who wants to go out with a fish? The Psychological Prognosis: Love is a form of temporary insanity curable by marriage.The Rope Trick: Give a man enough rope and he'll lasso another woman.Mind Over Matter: No one ever falls in love with another person's mind at a cocktail party.The Fault Finder: The faster way to discover all your bad habits is to move in with your lover.The Unintended Result: 1) Men's desire for sex sometimes results in intimacy; 1a) Men often go looking for sex more...