Irishmen Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two Irishmen are sitting in a bar. Mick's looking particularly sad and Patrick asks him what the matter is. mick says, "well, I knew that my grandfather had died in the war, but I've just found out that he actually died in the auschwitz concentration camp." Patrick says, "that's terrible, did he go to the gas chamber?" and Mick replies, "no, he fell out of the machine gun tower."

this Irishman walks into a bar and he notices down at the end of the bar, threes a guy that looks identical to himself. he walks up to the man and says, my gosh man, we look a like. the Irishman at the bar said, your right my man, we sure do. the other Irishman said, i just moved here from Ireland a month ago. the other Irishman said, that is amazing, i just moved here from Ireland a month ago. the other Irishman said, well tell me chap, what city in Ireland are you from? Dublin, replied the other Irishman. the other Irishman said, i can not believe this, IM also from Dublin the other Irishman said, well what school did you go to in Dublin? St. Francis my friend, replied the other Irishman. the other Irishman said, i can not believe this, i also went to St. Francis, my gosh we both came here from Ireland, from the same city, the same school, this is really amazing. about that time this other guy comes in and sits down at the bar and says to the bartender, whets up Sam? the bartender more...

Two Irishmen were digging a ditch directly across from a brothel. Suddenly, they saw a rabbi walk up to the front door, glance around and duck inside. "Ah, will you look at that?" One ditch digger said."What's our world comin' to when men of th' cloth are visitin' suchplaces?"A short time later, a Protestant minister walked up to the door andquietly slipped inside. "Do you believe that?" The workman exclaimed."Why,' tis no wonder th' young people today are so confused, what withthe example clergymen set for them."After an hour went by, the men watched as a Catholic priest quicklyentered the whore house. "Ah, what a pity," the digger said, leaningon his shovel. "One of th' poor lasses must be ill."

Back in the old west, there was a need to connect the east and the west with a telegraph line. The Manager of the project advertised for workers to complete the job. Three groups responded. A team of Irishmen, a group of Italians, and a final team composed of Blondes.
Since none of the groups would work with anyone from the other two groups, the project supervisor decided to assign each group to a different part of the line, and then see which team set the most poles.
The first task was to set the poles. The Supervisor sent each group out to a different location. Before they left, he advised all three groups that the one to bury the most poles today, would receive a bonus.
At the end of the day, the foreman of the Italians reported back to the Supervisor. The Supervisor inquired of him how many poles had been set by his team. He answered 48. The Supervisor was delighted. He advised the Italian to stay awhile until he heard how the Irishmen and the Blondes had more...

Two Irishmen were walking down the street with two salmon each under their arms.
Two other Irishmen walking in the opposite direction see the two lucky fishermen and ask " how did you catch those? "
Well its like this! Michael here holds my legs over the bridge, and I grab the salmon as they swim up the river. We got four salmon A great days fishing!
So the fishless pair look at each other and agree to give it a try.
They get to the bridge and Sean calls to his friend "hold my legs now Paddy".
Well he is hanging there upside down for thirty minutes when he suddenly cries.. "pull me up, pull me up!!"
Paddy asks " do you have a fish Sean?"............
No replies Sean, "there's a bloody train coming!!!!!!!!"