Isp Jokes / Recent Jokes

I work at an ISP doing tech support. The most common question I get are
from "hillbilly" callers. Most of them don't know that they are even
connected.... On the bright side a few of them do... only to *sigh*
comment, "I got a really fast connection, but I thought there was so much
more to the Internet than this damn clock."
My favorite has been from former AOL users, "I've been watching this clock
ticking for about an hour and a half and nothing has happened yet!"

These days we are all somewhat caught in an "Internet lifestyle," so here are some things you can do in the horrific event that your ISP goes down:

1. Dial 911 immediately.

2. Open the curtains to see if anything has changed over the past two years.

3. Think to yourself, you mean there's something else to do?

4. Threaten your ISP with an impeachment vote.

5. Work.

6. Reintroduce yourself to your immediate family.

7. Get that kidney transplant you've been putting off.

8. See if your eyes can still focus to distances further than three feet.

9. Get the ass groove in your chair fixed.

10. Check your mailbox every 15 minutes.