Italians Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: How many Italians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Two. One to change it and one to sprinkle it with Parmesan. (Refers to the Italian restaurant habit of sprinkling everything with Parmesan, even though it makes everything smell convincingly of sick.)

Gallic Wars: Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian.
Hundred Years' War: Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman."
Italian Wars: Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.
Wars of religion: France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots
Thirty Years War: France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.
War of Devolution: Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.
The Dutch War: Tied
War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War: Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label more...

(Sent by an Italian-American friend.) A man is walking down the street saying the most terrible things about Italians to his friend. He blames the Italians for everything, the dark ages, the black death, WW1, WW2, problems in the Catholic Church, poverty, the Vietnam war, famine in Africa and so on. He is cursing the Italians in the most vile language.
Upon turning the corner they spot an Italian organ grinder with a small monkey. The Italian hating man reaches into his pocket, pulls out a few coins and places them in the cup the monkey is holding.
"You hate Italians so much. How come you did that?", his friend asks.
The Italian hater replies, "Oh, I do hate Italians, that's for sure, but the kids are so cute when they're young."

Back in the old west, there was a need to connect the east and the west with a telegraph line. The Manager of the project advertised for workers to complete the job. Three groups responded. A group of Chinese, a group of Italians, and a group of Blondes. Since none of the groups would work with anyone from the other two groups, the manager decided to assign each group to a different part of the line. The first task was to stand the telegraph poles. The Manager sent each group out to a different location. Before they left, he advised all three groups that the one to bury the most poles today, would receive a bonus. At the end of the day, the foreman of the Italians reported back to the Manager. The Manager inquired of him how many poles had been set by his group. He replied 48. The manager was very pleased. He advised the Italian to stay awhile until he heard how the Chinese and the Blondes did. Next to report was the foreman of the Chinese group. When asked, he reported that they had more...

Q: How many Italians does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Two. One to change it and one to sprinkle it with Parmesan.