Jacob Jokes / Recent Jokes

Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob
suggests they go in Jacob addresses the man behind the counter:

‘Are you the owner? ’

The pharmacist answers yes.

Says Jacob: ‘We’re about to get married. Do you sell heart medication? ’

Pharmacist: ‘Of course we do. ’

Jacob: ‘How about medicine for circulation? ’

Pharmacist: ‘All kinds. ’

Jacob: ‘Medicine for rheumatism, scoliosis? ‘

Pharmacist: ‘Definitely. ’

Jacob: ‘How about Viagra? ’

Pharmacist: ‘Of course. ’

Jacob: ‘Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice? ’

Pharmacist: ‘Yes, a large variety. The works. ’

Jacob: ‘What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson’s disease? more...

Jacob age 85, and Rebecca age 79 are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way go past a drugstore. Jacob suggests that they go in. He addresses the man behind the counter: "Are you the owner?" The pharmacist answers, "Yes." Jacob: "Do you sell heart medication?" Pharmacist: "Of course we do." Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation?" Pharmacist: "All kinds." Jacob: "Medicine for rheumatism?" Pharmacist: "Definitely." Jacob: "How about Viagra?" Pharmacist: "Of course." Jacob: "Medicine for memory?" Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety." Jacob: "What about vitamins and sleeping pills?" Pharmacist: "Absolutely." Jacob: "Perfect! We'd like to register here for our wedding gifts."

Jacob finds himself in dire trouble. His business has gone bust and he's in serious financial straits. He's so desperate that he decides to ask God for help. He goes to the synagogue and begins to pray. "God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I don't get some money soon, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lotto."
Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it. Jacob goes back to the synagogue. "God, please let me win the lotto. I've lost my business, my house and now I'm even going to lose my car as well!"
Lotto night comes and Jacob still has no luck. Back to the synagogue, "My God, why have you forsaken me so? I've lost my business, my house, my car and my wife and children are starving. I don't often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. Why won't you just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order?"
Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens more...

Jacob, a three year old boy, is excited about the birth of his little sister, Olivia. One morning, Jacob's mom is giving Olivia a bath, when Jacob asks "Mom, where's her pp?" The mom explains that boys have pp's and girls don't. Just to make sure he understands, she brings out a magazine, and points to a girl and said "What does she have?" and he responds "No pp." She tells him good job and points to a man and he responds "pp." Then she points to George W. Bush and asks "Whats this?" he responds "tough call"

Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, are quite excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in.
Jacob addresses the man behind the counter. "Are you the owner?"
The pharmacist answers, "Yes."
Jacob: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?"
Pharmacist: "Of course we do."
Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation?"
Pharmacist: "Many kinds."
Jacob: "Medicine for rheumatism, scoliosis?"
Pharmacies: "Definitely."
Jacob: "How about Viagra?"
Pharmacist: Hesitates slightly but answers, "Of course."
Jacob: "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice?"
Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety."
Jacob: "What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson's?"
Pharmacist: more...

Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, living in Florida, are
all excited about their decision to get married. They go
for a stroll to discuss the wedding, and on the way they
pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in.
.
Jacob addresses the man behind the counter: "Are you the
owner?"
.
The pharmacist answers, "Yes."
.
Jacob: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart
medication?"
.
Pharmacist: "Of course we do."
.
Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation?"
.
Pharmacist: "All kinds."
.
Jacob: "Medicine for rheumatism and scoliosis?"
.
Pharmacist: "Definitely."
.
Jacob: "How about Viagra?"
.
Pharmacist: "Of course."
.
Jacob: "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis,
jaundice?"
.
Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety. The works."
.
Jacob: more...

Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob
suggests they go in. Jacob addresses the man behind the counter:
'Are you the owner?' The pharmacist answers yes.
Says Jacob:' We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?'
Pharmacist:' Of course we do.'
Jacob:' How about medicine for circulation?'
Pharmacist:' All kinds.'
Jacob:' Medicine for rheumatism, scoliosis?'
Pharmacist:' Definitely.'
Jacob:' How about Viagra?'
Pharmacist:' Of course.'
Jacob:' Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice?'
Pharmacist:' Yes, a large variety. The works.'
Jacob:' What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson's disease?'
Pharmacist:' Absolutely.'
Jacob:' You sell wheelchairs and walkers?'
Pharmacist:' All speeds and sizes.'
Jacob says to the more...