Jacob Jokes / Recent Jokes
Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob
suggests they go in. Jacob addresses the man behind the counter: `Are you the owner?` The pharmacist answers yes. Says Jacob: `We`re about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?` Pharmacist: `Of course we do.` Jacob: `How about medicine for circulation?`
Pharmacist: `All kinds.` Jacob: `Medicine for rheumatism, scoliosis? ` Pharmacist: `Definitely.` Jacob: `How about Viagra?` Pharmacist: `Of course.` Jacob: `Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice?` Pharmacist: `Yes, a large variety. The works.` Jacob: `What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson`s disease?` Pharmacist: `Absolutely.` Jacob: `You sell wheelchairs and walkers?` Pharmacist: `All speeds and sizes.` Jacob says to the pharmacist: `We`d like to register here for our wedding gifts, please.`
The following is a "history" collected by teachers throughout theUnited States, from eighth grade through college level. Read carefully, and you will learn a lot.=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- The inhabitants of ancient Egypt were called mummies. Theylived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate ofthe Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere, socertain areas of the dessert are cultivated by irritation. TheEgyptians built the Pyramids in the shape of a huge triangular cube.The Pyramids are a range of mountains between France and Spain. The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the firstbook of the Bible, Guinesses, Adam and Eve were created from anapple tree. On of their children, Cain, once asked, "Am I my brother'sson?" God asked Abraham to sacrifice Isaac on Mount Montezuma. Jacob, son of Isaac, stole his brother's birth mark. Jacob was a patriarchwho brought up his twelve sons more...
One of the fringe benefits of being an English or History teacher is receiving the occasional jewel of a student blooper in an essay. I have pasted together the following "history" of the world from certifiably genuine student bloopers collected by teachers throughout the United States, from eight grade through college level. Read carefully, and you will learn a lot. The inhabitants of Egypt were called mummies. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere, so certain areas of the dessert are cultivated by irritation. The Egyptians built the Pyramids in the shape of a huge triangular cube. The Pramids are a range of mountains between France and Spain. The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinesses, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children, Cain, asked "Am I my brother's son?" God asked Abraham to sacrifice more...