Jeff Jokes / Recent Jokes
One of the joys of being an intro computer science instructor is the
pleasure of being evaluated by undergrads on a quarterly basis. Below
are a few of my favorites from among the many insightful comments I have
received.
Winter 1991:
"Jeff made CIS 211 interesting. This is no small feat..."
"Compared to what I was told about you, you are better than I expected."
Autumn 1990:
"I think in the future you should find an instructor who knows all
about Macs and who likes them." -I'd rather use a better computer
than a different instructor, but to each his own.
"Difficult course matter, takes a lot more than just class time to
learn." -I guess a number of courses don't require any time outside
class.
"Tried to be funny-wasn't."
Spring 1989:
"...he made the best out of an unbearable situation."
"Incredibly boring." -Up until then, I hadn't realized I had more...
Jeff Gordon got married in a private ceremony in Mexico, mainly because gay marriage is illegal in the United States.
One morning the phone rang at 3:00 a.m. in Jeff's house. He picked up the phone and a woman asked, "Is this 555-1111?""No, this is 555-1112." Jeff replied."Oh, I'm so sorry for disturbing you." The woman said."That's alright," Jeff said. "I had to get up to answer the phone anyway."
Three couples got married and spent their honeymoons at the same hotel, where they were all attended to by . The first man married a nurse. Jeff showed them to their room, all the while thinking to himself, "Lucky guy! Nurses are known to be hot to trot." The second man married a telephone operator. Jeff showed them to their room, while thinking to himself, "Wow, he's one lucky dude. Telephone operators have such sexy voices and once you pop that top button.. Va-voom." The third man married a school teacher. Jeff showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor sap. She may be pretty, but teachers are way too frigid." At 5:30 the following morning, Jeff reported to work. He expected the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute, but was sure the other two wouldn't call until much later in the day. The phone rang at 6 a.m. and it was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. Jeff took breakfast up to the room and when the husband opened the more...
Three couples got married and spent their honeymoons at the same hotel, where they were all attended to by Jeff the Bellboy.
The first man married a nurse.
Jeff showed them to their room, all the while thinking to himself, "Lucky guy! Nurses are known to be hot to trot."
The second man married a telephone operator.
Jeff showed them to their room, while thinking to himself, "Wow, he's one lucky dude. Telephone operators have such sexy voices and once you pop that top button... Va-voom."
The third man married a school teacher.
Jeff showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor sap. She may be pretty, but teachers are way too frigid."
At 5:30 the following morning, Jeff reported to work. He expected the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute, but was sure the other two wouldn't call until much later in the day.
The phone rang at 6 a.m. and it was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. Jeff took breakfast more...
Steve, Bob, and Jeff were working on a very high scaffolding one day when suddenly, Steve falls off and is killed instantly. After the ambulance leaves with Steve's body, Bob and Jeff realize that one of them is going to have to tell Steve's wife.
Bob says he's good at this sort of sensitive stuff, so he volunteers to do the job. After two hours he returns, carrying a six-pack of beer.
"So did you tell her?" asks Jeff.
"Yep", replied Bob.
"Say, where did you get the six-pack?"
Bob informs Jeff. "She gave it to me!"
"What??" exclaims Jeff, "you just told her her husband died and she gave you a six-pack??"
"Sure," Bob says.
"Why?" asks Jeff.
"Well," Bob continues, "when she answered the door, I asked her,' are you Steve's widow?'
'Widow?', she said,' no, no, you're mistaken, I'm not a widow!'
So I said: "I'll bet you a six-pack you more...