Jimmy Jokes / Recent Jokes

A very large, old, building was being torn down in Chicago to make room for a new skyscraper. Due to its proximity to other buildings it could not be imploded and had to be dismantled floor by floor. While working on the 49th floor, two construction workers found a skeleton in a small closet behind the elevator shaft. They decided that they should call the police.
When the police arrived they directed them to the closet and showed them the skeleton fully clothed and standing upright. They said "This could be Jimmy Hoffa or somebody really important".
Two days went by and the construction workers couldn't stand it any more, they had to know who they had found. They called the police and said: "We are the two guys who found the skeleton in the closet and we want to know if it was Jimmy Hoffa or somebody important".
The police said "It's not Jimmy Hoffa, but it was somebody kind of important".
"Well, who was it?"
"The more...

12 year old timmy and 4 year old jimmy and their mom were sitting down and watching television when the red bull comercial appeared. timmy can you buy me a red bull? jimmy asked
im not old enough to go to the store.
ok said timmy
a few minutes later little jimmy had finished his red bull and was now looking over his shoulders
jimmy what are you looking for asked his brother
jimmy replied where the fuck is my wings!!!

There once was a third grader named Jimmy. Every time the teacher would say something, Jimmy would say, "How about that!"
One day, the teacher said, "And then George Washington crossed the Delaware."
Jimmy said, "How about that!"
The teacher told Jimmy, "If you say that one more time, you are going out into the hall, mister!"
To that, Jimmy replied, ", Well, how about that!"
Taking him by the arm, the teacher marched Jimmy into the hall and said, "While you're out here, I want you to write a poem to tell the class."
Twenty minutes later, the teacher came out to get Jimmy and said, "Before we go back in, I want to hear your poem."
Jimmy said, "As I stood in the hall, I saw a cockroach go up the wall. How about that!"
The teacher said, "That's fine, Jimmy, but I want you to leave the cock out."
She took him back into the classroom and announced that more...

Jane calls the doctor in a panic. "Doctor, doctor! My little Jimmy swallowed a dozen aspirin. What should I do?"
The doctor asked Jane, "Are you sure it was a dozen?"
The frantic mother says, "Absolutely! Doctor, I'm scared to death!"
The doctor tells the mother, "Calm down. Is little Jimmy crying?"
Jane says "No."
"Is he sleeping?" asks the doctor.
"No." says Jimmy's mom.
The doctor goes on with routine questions, "Is his color funny?"
Again Jane says "No."
"Did Jimmy throw up?" asks the methodical doctor.
"No." says the worried mom. "But I'm so scared. All that aspirin... shouldn't I do something?"
To which the doctor says, "Try giving him a headache."

One day a priest went into a public bathroom to use the stall. While he was on the toilet, he heard moaning coming from the stall next to him. He stood up to look over, and there was little Jimmy, sitting on the toilet masturbating. The priest was shocked. He told Jimmy that he knew what he was doing in there and that he should save it for marriage. Little Jimmy agreed to this only because it was coming from a priest. About a week later the priest ran into Jimmy at the mall and asked him how he was doing with his problem. Jimmy replied "Great father, I've saved a whole quart!"

Knock Knock
Who's there!
Jimmy!
Jimmy who!
Jimmy a little kiss on the cheek! Knock Knock
Who's there!
Jimmy!
Jimmy who!
Jimmy to the church on time!

fun! :-)
A-Day minus 5"Jimmy, whatever happened to that nice Max Iceberg? I haven't seen him since he came to our wedding ten years ago."
A-Day minus 4"Look at this ad. It's the exact same set of dishes the girls gave me at work for my bridal shower ten years ago."
A-Day minus 3"You know, you don't look a day older than when we got married ten years ago. I'm glad you've kept yourself in such good shape."
A-Day minus 2"Look Jimmy, I can still fit into my wedding dress. See? You're not the only one who's kept in shape these past ten years."
A-Day minus 1"Remember how nervous you were at our wedding rehearsal dinner ten years ago tonight? I was afraid you weren't gonna show up at the church."
Anniversary"Oh Jimmy darling. For me? You remembered."