Jimmy Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: What is the difference between Bill Clinton and Jimmy Carter?
A: Jimmy Carter waited until after the inauguration to break his promises.
One day a priest went into a public bathroom to use the stall. While he was on the toilet, he heard moaning coming from the stall next to him. He stood up to look over, and there was little Jimmy, sitting on the toilet masturbating.The priest was shocked. He told Jimmy that he knew what he was doing in there and that he should save it for marriage.Little Jimmy agreed to this only because it was coming from a priest. About a week later the priest ran into Jimmy at the mall and asked him how he was doing with his problem.Jimmy replied "Great father, I've saved a whole quart!"
three men went to heaven and asked the god for vechiles, god told them he would give them each a car, but it depends on their sin they commited. the first fellow name mike; he had affairs with married women so he was given a very old car, the next fellow is Tom; he did have affairs but he tried his best to behave, so he was given a ford mustang, the next fellow was Jimmy he never did any thing wrong, so he was given a red ferrari. one day all were driving the cars in heaven and met in an intersection. Jimmy looked sad, the other fellows asked him what was wrong, Jimmy replied that he just saw his wife walking
Jimmy is in math class when the teacher asks him a question:
"Jimmy, if there are 5 birds on a fence and you shoot one with your gun, how many are left?"
"None," replies Jimmy, "because the others would be scared by the noise."
"Well, no, the correct answer is 4, but I like the way you're thinking!"
"I've got a question for you, teacher," says Jimmy.
"If there are 3 women sitting in a shop eating ice cream cones, and one is licking her cone, one is biting her cone, and one is sucking her cone, which one is married?" The teacher gets a little nervous and finally answers, "I say the one sucking her cone."
"Well, no, the correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking!"
Little Jimmy was laying about on a hillock in the middle of a
meadow on a warm spring day. Puffy white clouds rolled by and he
pondered their shape. Soon, he began to think about God.
"God? Are you really there?" Jimmy said out loud.
To his astonishment a voice came from the clouds. "Yes, Jimmy?
What can I do for you?"
Seizing the opportunity, Jimmy asked, "God? What is a million
years like to you?"
Knowing that Jimmy could not understand the concept of infinity,
God responded in a manner to which Jimmy could relate. "A
million years to me, Jimmy, is like a minute."
"Oh," said Jimmy. "Well, then, what's a million dollars like to
you?"
"A million dollars to me, Jimmy, is like a penny."
"Wow!" remarked Jimmy, getting an idea. "You're so generous...
can I have one of your pennies?"
God replied, "Sure thing, Jimmy! more...