Joe Jokes / Recent Jokes

Jim: Joe, I hear you just got married again. Joe: Yes, for the fourth time. Jim: What happened to your first three wives? Joe: They all died, Jim. Jim: How did that happen? Joe: My first wife ate poison mushrooms. Jim: How terrible! And your second? Joe: She ate poison mushrooms. Jim: And your third ate poison mushrooms too? Joe: Oh, no. She died of a broken neck. Jim: I see, an accident. Joe: Not exactly. She wouldn't eat her mushrooms.

Teacher: Joe, How Is Electricity Transmitted?
Joe: Why Er...(Wire)
Teacher: That's Right, Joe.

Joe had asked Bob to help him out with the deck after work, so Bob went straight over to Joe`s place. When they got to the door, Joe went straight to his wife, gave her a hug and told her how beautiful she was and how much he had missed her at work. When it was time for supper, he complimented his wife on her cooking, kissed her and told her how much he loved her. Once they were working on the deck, Bob told Joe that he was surprised that he fussed so much over his wife. Joe said that he`d started this about 6 months ago, it had revived their marriage, and things couldn`t be better. Bob thought he`d give it a go. When he got home, he gave his wife a massive hug, kissed her and told her that he loved her. His wife burst into tears. Bob was confused and asked why she was crying. She said, "This is the worst day of my life. First, little Billy fell off his bike and twisted his ankle. Then, the washing machine broke and flooded the basement. And now, you come home drunk!"

Farmer Joe had a nagging wife who made his life miserable. The only real peace that he got was when he was out in the field plowing. One day when he was out in the field, Joe’s wife brought his lunch to him.
Then she stayed while he quietly ate and berated him with a constant stream of nagging and complaining. Suddenly, Joe’s old mule kicked up his back legs, striking her in the head, and killing her instantly.
At the wake, Joe’s minister noticed that when the women offered sympathy to Joe he would nod his head up and down. But when the men came up and spoke quietly to him, he would shake his head from side to side.
When the wake was over and all the mourners had left, the minister approached Joe and asked, “Why was it that you nodded your head up and down to all the women and shook your head from side to side to all the men? ”
“Well, ” Joe replied, “The women all said how nice she looked, and her dress was so pretty, so I agreed by nodding my head more...

Joe was talking to his buddy at the bar, and he said, "I don't know what to get my wife for her birthday. She has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants, so I'm stumped."
His buddy said, "I have an idea, why don't you make up a certificate saying, she can have 60 minutes of great sex, any way she wants it. She'll probably be thrilled."
So that's what Joe did.
The next day at the bar, his buddy said, "Well, did you take my suggestion?"
"Yes, I did," said Joe.
"Did she like it?" His buddy asked.
"Oh yes! she jumped up, thanked me, kissed me on the forehead, and ran out the door, yelling, "I'll be back in an hour!!"

Joe says to Bill, "Want to see a picture of my Aunt?" Bill said, "Sure." So Joe takes out a picture. Bill says, "What are you talking about? Thats not your aunt! Thats a picture of a fish!"Joe says, "Well sure it is... It's my aunt Chovy!"

e-mail one
Attention: Human Resources
Joe Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found
hard at work in his cubicle. Joe works independently, without
wasting company time talking to colleagues. Joe never
thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always
finishes given assignments on time. Often Joe takes extended
measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping
coffee breaks. Joe is an individual who has absolutely no
vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Joe can be
classed as a high-calibre employee, the type which cannot be
dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Joe be
promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be
executed as soon as possible.
Regards,
Project Leader
e-mail two
Attention: Human Resources
Joe Smith was reading over my shoulder while I wrote the report sent to you more...