Judge Jokes / Recent Jokes
Lawyer: "Judge, I wish to appeal my client's case on the basis of newly discovered evidence."
Judge: "And what is the nature of the new evidence?"
Lawyer: "Judge, I discovered that my client still has $500 left."
Family Law Judge to Mother: Do you understand that you have sworn to tell the truth?
Mother: I do.
Judge: Do you understand what will happen if you are not truthful?
Mother: Sure. I get everything I want.
Family Law Judge to Father: Do you have anything to offer this court before I issue my judgement?
Father: No your honour, my lawyer took it all.
A family law judge wandered by mistake into a criminal court one morning. He immediately gave custody of the kid to the first women he saw and then headed back to his chambers.
In the meantime, back at the court, the Crown Attorney is trying to figure out what to do now that she had custody of Melbo the bank robbing midget.
The Judge said to the defendant. "I thought I told you I never wanted to see you in here again.""Your Honor," the criminal said, "thats what I tried to tell the police, but they wouldnt listen."
There was a little 7 year old boy, appearing in court, charged with rape. His laywer, was a 26 year old lady.
Good looking, very good looking.
She asked the judge if she couldt show him someting. The judge gave her permission.
The laywer asked the boy to pull down his pants. She took the boy's private parts in her hand, shake it, and asked the judge if he couldt believe that her client, couldt have raped a 32 year old woman with this in her hands.
The boy looked up to his laywer and said "Please miss., if your gonna keep on shaking them, we are gonna loose this case!"