Jumping Jokes / Recent Jokes

...and the bartender came over to the first duck and says:
"what's your name and what've you been doing" the duck says " my names Heuie and I've been jumping in puddles", then the bartender goes over to the second duck and asks, what's your name and what've you been doing", the second duck says "my names Duie and I've been jumping in puddles", then the bartender goes over to the last duck and says "don't tell me your name is Louie and you've been jumping in puddles" the duck replies: "no, my names Puddles and I've been having a bad day"!!!

A couple had been trying for quite some time to have a child. One day, while the husband was in the driveway washing his car, his blonde wife came rushing up to him, jumping for joy. Not knowing what had her so excited, he asked her what was going on.
"Honey, I have some great news. I'm pregnant," the wife explained, jumping up and down with excitement.
The husband was so ecstatic, he grabbed her and began kissing her when she stopped him and said, "Wait, there's more!"
Confused, he asked, "What do you mean, there's more?"
"We're not just having one baby, we're having twins!" she excitedly replied.
Not understanding how she could know so soon into the pregnancy that she was carrying twins, he asked her how she knew this.
"That was the easy part," she said. "I went to Wal-Mart and bought the 2-pack home pregnancy kit. Both tests came out positive!"

Here are some more for you...
Yo momma's so stupid she failed a survey.
Yo momma's so stupid she tried to commit suicide by jumping off a building and she got lost on the way down.
Yo momma's so stupid I saw her jumping up and down, and she said she forgot to shake the medicine before she took it.
Yo momma's so stupid she tried to drown a fish.
Yo momma's so stupid she got hit by a cup and told the police she was mugged.
That's all.

A passer-by is walking down the street and sees a man jumping up and down on a manhole cover yelling "86, 86, 86". The passer-by asks the man, "Excuse me, but why are you jumping up and down on this manhole cover and yelling' 86, 86, 86'?"

The man says, "Well, I can't tell you that, but if you really want to know, I can let you go under there and find out.

The passer-by thinks for a moment, then his curiosity gets the better of him, and he says, "Okay."

The man lifts the manhole cover, the passer-by steps into the manhole, and the man puts the manhole cover back and starts jumping up and down on it yelling "87, 87, 87"..

This 65 year old woman is naked, jumping up and down on her bed laughing and singing. Her husband walks into the bedroom and sees her. He watches her a while then says, "You look ridiculous, what on earth are you doing?"
She says, "I just got my check-up and my doctor says I have the breasts of an eighteen-year-old." She starts laughing and jumping again. He says, Yeah, right. And what did he say about your 65 year-old ass?"
She says, "Well, your name never came up."

Zeke and Zeb decided to build a Bungee Jumping tower in Mexico to see if it would make them some money. After they got it set up, they noticed that the crowds gathered around but nobody was buying tickets. Zeke said to Zeb, "Maybe you should demonstrate it to them so they get the idea." After Zeb was strapped on he jumped and fell almost to the ground before springing back. As he came back up Zeke noticed that Zeb's clothes were torn and wondered what that was all about. Zeb went down again and this time when he came back up Zeke noticed that he was bleeding. Zeke thought, "Wow, what's going on here." Zeb went down a third time and this time when he came back up Zeke noticed that he had blood, contusions and cuts all over his body. Zeke pulled Zeb in and said, "Zeb, what happened?" Zeb groaned, "I don't know, but what's a pinata?

Our Sardar is walking down the street and sees a man jumping up and down on a manhole cover yelling "86, 86, 86".
He asks the man, "Excuse me, but why are you jumping up and down on this manhole cover and yelling '86, 86, 86'?"
The man says,"Well, I can't tell you that, but if you really want to know, I can let you go under there and find out. He thinks for a moment, then his curiosity gets the better of him, and he says, "Okay." The man lifts the manhole cover, He steps into the manhole, and the man puts the manhole cover back and starts jumping up and down on it yelling "87, 87, 87"...