Jungle Jokes / Recent Jokes
What flies through the jungle singing opera? The parrots of Penzance!
A mouse was strolling along the jungle one day, and came across an elephant caught in a leg trap. Well, said the mouse, nows my chance. The mouse jumped up and mounted the elephant. Holding the elephant by the tail he started fucking the elephant. A monkey, sitting on a tree, looked down and started laughing. He grabed a coconut, and threw it at the elephant. Hitting him on the head. Ouch said the elephant. Then the mouse said. "Thats right baby, take the whole thing"
Four men got stranded on an caribbean island there was an English man, American, Irish man and a Japanese man. They all sat round the camp fire and discussed there roles the English man said ” I will be in charge of making everything” they all agreed the American said ” I will be in charge of our defense and weapons” they all agreed, the Irish man said ” I will be in charge of all the cooking” they all agreed. So the men went off leaving the Japanese man sitting there he said to the English man “What can i do” the English man replied “you can be in charge of the supplies” he was very happy with this.
Later that afternoon the Japanese man stood up and run off into the jungle the others thought he had seen something and had gone to investigate but he was gone for hours they left him to it and sat around the camp fire talking and waiting for the Japanese man to come back hours went by and still he had not come back so they all decided to go to sleep and when they more...
A lion woke up one morning feeling really rowdy and mean. He went out and cornered a small monkey and roared,
"Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?"
The trembling monkey says, "You are, mighty lion!
Later, the lion confronts a ox and fiercely bellows,
"Who is the mightiest of all jungle animals?"
The terrified ox stammers, "Oh great lion, you are the mightiest animal in the jungle!"
On a roll now, the lion swaggers up to an elephant and roars,
"Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?"
Fast as lightning, the elephant snatches up the lion with his trunk, slams him against a tree half a dozen times leaving the lion feeling like it'd been run over by a safari wagon. The elephant then stomps on the lion till it looks like a corn tortilla and ambles away.
The lion lets out a moan of pain, lifts his head weakly and hollers after the elephant -
"Just because you don't know the answer, you don't have more...
A gorilla was walking through the jungle when he came across a deer eating grass in a clearing. The gorilla roared,' Who is the king of the jungle?'and the deer replied,' Oh, you are, Master.' The gorilla walked off pleased. Soon he came across a zebra drinking at a water hole. The gorilla roared,' Who is the king of the jungle?' and the zebra replied,' Oh, you are, Master.' The gorilla walked off pleased. Then he came across an elephant.' Who is the king of the jungle?' he roared. With that, the elephant threw the gorilla across a tree and jumped on him. The gorilla scraped himself up off the ground and said,' Okay, okay, there's no need to get mad just because you don't know the answer.'
Once upon a time, long, long ago there were two unique lions in the jungles of Africa. Both, it seems, had human-like qualities that allowed them to claim territory, daring the other to cross over the line. Strange as it seems, the boundary between their turf became a well traveled trail through the jungle.
All day, every day, both lions lay in the brush staring across the trail at their compatriot, daring him to cross into their territory.
The local natives knew of this animal feud, but all this was unbeknown to African Jack, a well-known and very publicized guide who did not speak Lionese and was unfamiliar with the territory.
While he was leading a safari through the jungle, the travelers had to walk and cut vines with their machetes, and all this constant hacking brush had them worn to a frazzle. After seeing two or three of his safari drop from exhaustion, African Jack decided to stop on the trail between these two lions and camp for the night.
After setting up more...
Three men, two brunettes and a blond, are being chased by a tiger through the jungle. They get to a river and have two choices: 1. Get across the river without being eaten by pirannhas or 2. Get eaten by the tiger.
They spot a genie and the genie says I can grant you one wish..
The first blond man thinks "I wish I can get across safely." He swims across and makes it without a scratch.
The second blond man says "I want to be even smarter than the first man." He climbed onto a raft and paddled across.
The brunette thinks "I want to be the smartest of them all". Instantly, he turned into a woman, and she walked across a nearby bridge.