Chief Jokes

The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an enemy Indian War Party.

The Indian Chief proclaims,

"So, YOU are the great Lone Ranger... In honor of the Harvest Festival, YOU will be executed in three days."

"Before I kill you, I grant you three requests. What is your FIRST request???"

The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse."

The Chief nods and Silver is brought before the Lone Ranger who whispers in Silver's ear, and the horse gallops away. Later that evening, Silver returns with a beautiful blonde woman on his back. As the Indian Chief watches, the blonde enters the Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night.

The next morning the Indian Chief admits he's impressed. "You have a very fine and loyal horse, but I will still kill you in two days. What is your SECOND request???"

The Lone Ranger again asks to speak to his horse.

Silver is brought more...

Three men were all applying for the same job as a detective. One was Polish, one was Jewish, and one was Italian. Rather than ask the standard questions during the interview, the chief decided to ask each applicant just one question and base his decision upon that answer.
When the Jewish man arrived for his interview, the chief asked, "Who killed Jesus Christ?"
The Jewish man answered without hesitation "The Romans killed him." The chief thanked him and he left.
When the Italian man arrived for his interview, the chief asked the same question. He replied "Jesus was killed by the Jews." Again, the chief thanked the man who then left.
When the Polish man arrived for his interview, he was asked the exact same question. He thought for a long time, before saying, "Could I have some time to think about it?" The chief said, "OK, but get back to me tommorrow."
When the Polish man arrived home, his wife asked "How did more...

Two Indians, Running Bear and Little Beaver went to the outhouse teepee, situated on the edge of a cliff. After using the outhouse teepee, they went back to the village. The next day, they again went to the outhouse teepee. Running Bear said, "Terrible, terrible, the outhouse teepee smells to high heaven! What should we do? We can't ever use it smelling like that!" Little Beaver suggested, "Why don't we just push the outhouse teepee over the cliff, and go build another one?" They both agreed and pushed the outhouse teepee over the cliff.

A few days later, the chief of the tribe called a pow wow. He asked," Who threw the outhouse teepee over the cliff?" No one answered. He then told this story.

When George Washington was a little boy, his father asked, "Who chopped down the cherry tree?" Little boy George Washington answered, "It was I father."

His father was so pleased with the answer, that he rewarded more...

A Frenchman, an Englishman and a New Yorker were captured by a fierce back-country tribe during the colonial times in the United States.
The tribal chief comes to them and says, "The bad news is that now that we've caught you we're going to kill you, and then use your skins to make a canoe. The good news is that you get to choose how to die."
The Frenchman says, "I take ze poison". The chief gives him some poison extracted from local berries. The Frenchman says "Viva la France!" and drinks it down.
The Englishman says, "A pistol for me, please". The chief gives him a old pistol. He points it at his head, says, "God save the queen!", and blows his brains out.
The New Yorker says, "Gimme a fork". The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs his shoulders and gives him a fork. The New Yorker takes the fork and starts rapidly jabbing himself all over his stomach, his ribs, his chest, his backside, everywhere. There's blood more...

The Pope had just finished a tour of the East Coast and was taking a limousine to the airport. Having never driven a limo, he asked the chauffeur if he could drive for a while. Well, the chauffeur didn't have much of a choice, so the chauffeur climbs in the back of the limo and the Pope takes the wheel.

The Pope proceeds to hop on Route 95 and starts accelerating to see what the limo could go. Well, he gets to about 90 miles per hour and,WHAM! There are the blue lights of our friendly State Police in his mirror.

He pulls over and the trooper comes to his window. Well, the trooper, seeing who it was, says "just a moment please I need to call in."

The trooper radio's in and asks for the chief. He tells the chief "I've got a REALLY important person pulled over and I need to know what to do."

The chief replies "Who is it, not Ted again? "

The trooper says, "No, even more more...