Jury Jokes / Recent Jokes

After a laborious two-week criminal trial in a very high profile bank robbery case, the jury finally ended its 14 hours of deliberations and entered the courtroom to deliver its verdict to the judge. The judge turns to the jury foreman and asks:

"Has the jury reached a verdict in this case?"

"Yes we have, your honor," the foreman responded.

"Would you please pass it to me,"

The judge declared, as he motioned for the bailiff to retrieve the verdict slip from the foreman and deliver it to him.

After the judge reads the verdict himself, he delivers the verdict slip back to his bailiff to be returned to the foreman and instructs the foreman,

"Please read your verdict to the court."

"We find the defendant NOT GUILTY of all four counts of bank robbery," stated the foreman.

The family and friends of the defendant jump for joy at the sound of the "not more...

A lawyer had a jury trial in a very difficult business case. The client who had attended the trial was out of town when the jury came back with its decision, which was for the lawyer and his client. The lawyer immediately sent a telegram to his client, reading "Justice has triumphed!" The client wired back, "Appeal at once!"

A judge in a semi-small city was hearing a drunk-driving case and the defendent, who had both a record and a reputation for driving under the influence, demanded a jury trial. It was nearly 4 p. m. and getting a jury would take time, so the judge called a recess and went out in the hall looking to impanel anyone available for jury duty. He found a dozen lawyers in the main lobby and told them that they were a jury. The lawyers thought this would be a novel experience and so followed the judge back to the courtroom. The trial was over in about 10 minutes and it was very clear that the defendent was guilty. The jury went into the jury-room, the judge started getting ready to go home, and everyone waited. After nearly three hours, the judge was totally out of patience and sent the bailiff into the jury-room to see what was holding up the verdict. When the bailiff returned, the judge said, "Well have they got a verdict yet?" The bailiff shook his head and said, "Verdict? more...

A lawyer had a jury trial in a very difficult business case. The client, who had attended the trial, was out of town when the jury came back with its decision, which was for the lawyer and his client.The lawyer immediately sent a telegram to his client, reading, "Justice has triumphed!"The client wired back, "Appeal at once!"

The Toronto Star has a weekly column by an attorney, consisting of
humorous excerpts from court transcripts. The following appeared
a few weeks ago:
In a jury trial in Battleford, Sask., a few decades back, a farmer
was charged with bestiality after he became amorous with one of his
cows.
The chief Crown witness, the hired man, testified that he saw his
boss place a milk stool behind the cow, then stand on the stool
and take liberties with the cow. Moments later, the witness said,
the cow kicked over the stool and the farmer fell to the floor
of the barn.
Upon hearing this, a farmer in the jury box slapped his thigh and
exclaimed, "They'll do that every time!"
Mark Bartelt
Hospital for Sick Children, Toronto

A man was chosen for jury duty who really wanted to be dismissed from serving. He tried every excuse he could think of but none of them worked. On the day of the trial, he decided to give it one more shot. As the trial was about to begin, he asked if he could approach the bench. "Your Honor," he said, "I must be excused from this trial because I am prejudiced against the defendant. I took one look at the man in the blue suit with those beady eyes and that dishonest face and I said' He's a crook! He's guilty!' So, your Honor, I cannot possibly stay on this jury!" With a tired annoyance the judge replied, "Get back in the jury box, you fool. That man is the defendant's lawyer."

A lawyer had a jury trial in a very difficult business case. The client who had attended the trial was out of town when the jury came back with its decision, which was for the lawyer and his client.

The lawyer immediately sent a telegram to his client, reading, "Justice has triumphed!"

The client wired back, "Appeal at once!"