Kind Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: What kind of cats lay around the house? - A: Car-pets!

The little sexy housewife was built so well that the TV repairman couldn't keep his eyes off of her. Every time she came in the room, he'd near about jerk his neck right out of joint looking at her.
When he'd finished she paid him and said, "I'm going to make a...well... unusual request. But you have to first promise me you'll keep it a secret."
The repairman quickly agreed and she went on. "Well, it's kind of embarrassing to talk about, but while my husband is a kind, decent man- sigh - he has a certain physical weakness. A certain disability. Now, I'm a woman and you're a man... "
The repairman could hardly speak, "Yes; yes!"
"And since I've been wanting to ever since you came in the door..."
"Yes; yes!"
"Would you help me move the refrigerator?"

One morning a blind bunny was hopping down the bunny trail, and he tripped over a large snake and fell, KerPlop!, right on his twitchy little nose. "Oh, please excuse me!" said the bunny. "I didn't mean to trip over you, but I'm blind and can't see."

"That's perfectly all right," replied the snake. "To be sure, it was my fault. I didn't mean to trip you, but I'm blind too, and I didn't see you coming. By the way, what kind of animal are you?"

"Well, I really don't know," said the bunny. "I'm blind, and I've never seen myself. Maybe you could examine me and find out."

So the snake felt the bunny all over, and he said, "Well, you're soft, and cuddly, and you have long silky ears, and a little fluffy tail and a dear twitchy little nose... You must be a bunny rabbit!"

Then he said, "I can't thank you enough, but by the way, what kind of animal are more...

A little old lady went into the Bank of Canada one day carrying a bag of money. She insists that she must speak with the President of the bank to open a savings account because it's a lot of money.

They finally get her into the presidents office and he asks her how much she would like to deposit. She says she has $165, 000 and then dumps it out of the bag onto his desk. The president was surprised and of course curious as to how she came by all this cash, so he asks her. The old lad says, "I make bets".

The president replies, "Bets? What kind of bets?" and she says, "for example, I'll bet you $25, 000 that your balls are square". "Ha!" says the president, "That's a stupid bet, you can never win that kind of bet".

The old lady says,"So, would you like to take my bet?" "Sure," says the president, "I'll bet $25, 000 that my balls are not square!" The little old lady says more...

He is the kind of a man that you would use as a blueprint to build an idiot.

What kind of horse has trouble keeping track of his Macintosh? An Appaloosa!

Two guys sat down for lunch in the office cafeteria. "Hey, whatever happened to Pete in payroll?" one asked."He got this crazy idea he was going to build a new kind of car," his coworker replied. "He took an engine from a Pontiac, tires from a Chevy, seats from a Lincoln, hubcaps from a Caddy and well, you get the idea.""So what did he end up with?""Ten years."