Kind Jokes / Recent Jokes
St Peter is standing at heaven's gate when a man walks up.
"Welcome to heaven my son. What did you do with your life?"
"I was a policeman," he responded.
"What kind of policeman?" St Peter asked.
"I was a vice officer. I kept dangerous narcotics out of the hands of kids."
"Wonderful my son, welcome to heaven. Pass through the gates."
A few moments later a second man walks up.
"Welcome to heaven my son. What did you do with your life?"
"I was a policeman," he responded.
"What kind of policeman?" St Peter asked.
"I was a traffic officer. I kept the roads and highways safe for travelers."
"Well done. Pass through the gates into paradise."
A few moments later a third man walks up.
"Welcome to heaven my son. What did you do with your more...
An American and Japanese were sitting next to eachother on a plane. The American turned and asked the Japanese, "what kind of -ese are you?"
The Japanese man answered "I'm sorry, I don't know what you mean."
"What kind of -ese are you?", the American repeated. The Japanese was showing obvious confusion. Irritated, the American explained "are you Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese, what?"
"Oh, I'm Japanese."
Soon after the Japanese turned to the American and asked him what kind of -key he was. The American, now annoyed, replied "what d'you mean, 'key'??"
The Japanese asked again, "are you a monkey, a donkey, or a Yankee?"
What is a horses favourite kind of party? A stall ball.
The 5 Levels of Drinking
Level 1:
It's 11:00 on a weeknight, you've had a few beers. You get up to leave because you have
work the next day and one of your friends buys another round. One of your unemployed
friends. Here at level I you think to yourself, "Oh come on, this is silly. Why, as long as I
get seven hours of sleep (snap fingers), I'm cool."
Level 2:
It's midnight. You've had a few more beers. You've just spent 20 minutes arguing against
artificial tuff. You get up to leave again, but at level
2, a little devil appears on your shoulder. And now you're thinking, "Hey! I'm out with
my friends! What am I working for anyway? These are the good times! Besides, as long
as I get five hours sleep (snaps fingers), I'm
COOl."
Level 3:
One in the morning. You've abandoned beer for tequila. You've just spent 20 minutes
arguing for artificial tuff. And now you're thinking, "Our waitress is the most more...
St Peter is standing at heaven’s gate when a man walks up.
“Welcome to heaven my son. What did you do with your life? ”
“I was a policeman, ” he responded.
“What kind of policeman? ” St Peter asked.
“I was a vice officer. I kept dangerous narcotics out of the hands of kids. ”
“Wonderful my son, welcome to heaven. Pass through the gates. ”
A few moments later a second man walks up.
“Welcome to heaven my son. What did you do with your life? ”
“I was a policeman, ” he responded.
“What kind of policeman? ” St Peter asked.
“I was a traffic officer. I kept the roads and highways safe for travelers. ”
“Well done. Pass through the gates into paradise. ”
A few moments later a third man walks up.
“Welcome to heaven my son. What did you do with your life? ”
“I was a policeman, ” he responded.
“What kind of policeman? ” St Peter asked.
“I was a Military more...
Q: What kind of work does a weak cat do? - A: Light mouse work.
What kind of clothes are there? women: clean & dirtyMen: Clean, almost clean, sorta clean, not bad, dirty, really dirty, nasty, biohazzard.(Men will voluntarily wear all but the last classification ofthese clothes).