Kind Jokes / Recent Jokes
The Importance of Proper Punctuation
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Dear John:
I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are
generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you
admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for
other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever
when we're apart. I can be forever happy--will you let me
be yours? Gloria
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Dear John:
I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are
generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you.
Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me.
For other men, I yearn. For you, I have no feelings
whatsoever. When we're apart, I can be forever happy. Will
you let me be? Yours, Gloria
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What's the unluckiest kind of cat to have? A catastrophe!
? "Kbar Khali-Kili Haftir Lotfan."
Thank you for showing me your marvelous gun.
? "Khrel, Jepaheh Maneh Va Jayeii Amrikahey"
I will tell you the names and addresses of many American spies travelling as reporters.
? "Tikeh Nuneh Ba Ob Khrelleh Bezorg Va Khube Boyast Ino Begeram"
The water soaked breadcrumbs are delicious, thank you. I must have the recipe.
? "Ekr Gabul Cardan Davat Parh Gush Divar"
I am delighted to accept your kind invitation to lie down on the floor with my arms above my head with my legs apart.
? "Maternier Ghermez Ahlieh Ghorban"
The red blindfold would be lovely, excellency.
? "Howmaeh Fekr Tamomeh Oeh Gorteh Bande"
I agree with everything you have ever said and thought in your whole life.
? "Balli, Balli, Balli"
Whatever you say.
? "Auto Arraregh Davateman Mano Sephaheh- Hasti"
It is exceptionally kind of you more...
Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible? A. Honda... because the apostles were all in one Accord.
Martha Stewart vs Me...
Martha's way: Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.
My way: Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake, you are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway.
Martha's way: Use a meat baster to "squeeze" your pancake batter onto the hot griddle and you'll get perfectly shape pancakes every time.
My way: Buy the precooked kind you nuke in the microwave for 30 seconds. The hard part is getting them out of the plastic bag.
Martha's way: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in thebag with the potatoes.
My way: Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.
Martha's way: To prevent egg shells from cracking, add a pinch of salt to the water before hard boiling.
My way: Who cares if they crack, aren't you going to take the shells off anyway?
Martha's more...
Q: What kind of neckwear does Hillary Clinton look best in? A: A noose.
Q: What kind of jewelry does Hillary look best in? A: Handcuffs.