Knob Jokes / Recent Jokes
A woman goes in to have a facelift. Theres a new one called the knob. It goes in the back of your head, and you twist it to lift up your features. She has it done, and a year later she goes in to see the doctor. She says to him: This is wonderful, whenever I feel old I just twist it and it pulls everything up. Theres a problem though Ive got these terrible bags under my eyes and the knob seems to make it worse and not better.
The doctor looks at her and thinks for a minute, then says:They arent bags - Theyre your breasts!
The woman says:Oh right. That explains the goatee then!
Q: Why is a blonde like a door knob?
A: Because everybody gets a turn.
How to Shower Like a Woman
Take off clothing and place it in a sectioned laundry basket
according to lights, darks, whites, man made or natural.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
If husband seen along the way cover any exposed
flesh and rush to the bathroom.
Look at womanly physique in the mirror and stick out belly.
Complain and whine about getting fat.
Get in shower.
Look for facecloth, arm cloth, loin cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and
pumice stone.
Wash hair once with Cucumber and Lamphrey shampoo with 83 added
vitamins.
Wash hair again with Cucumber and Lamphrey shampoo with 83 added
vitamins.
Condition hair with cucumber and lamphrey conditioner with enhanced
natural crocus oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.
Wash face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes until red
raw.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair taking at more...
Once upon a time, in a kingdom not far from here, a King summoned two of
his advisors for a test. He showed them both a shiny metal box with two
slots in the top, a control knob and a lever.
"What do you think it is," he asked.
One advisor, an Engineer, answered first. "It is a toaster," he said.
The King then asked, "How would you design an embedded computer for it?"
The Engineer replied, "Using a four-bit microcontroller. I would write a
simple program that reads the darkness knob and quantizes its position to
one of sixteen shades of darkness: from snow white to coal black. The
program would use that darkness level as the index to a sixteen-element
table of initial timer values. Then it would turn on the heating elements
and start the timer with the initial value selected from the table. At the
end of the timer delay it would turn off the heat and pop up the toast.
Come back next week, and I'll more...
this guy went to the local shaman and ask if there were any sutable sex toys and the shaman seid yes and sold him a vodo dick . the shaman seid voodoo dick door knob and it startid raming the door knob. so he gave it to his wive. she seid voodoo dick my vigina. it went up her .when she had had enof she sied voodoo dick stop but it didnt work so she got in her car but because of the intence plesure she couldnt drive streight . a police seid what is wrong so she told him and he voodoo dick my ass.