Knocked Jokes / Recent Jokes

A lady was expecting the plumber; he was supposed to come at ten o’clock. Ten o’clock came and went; no plumber; eleven o’clock, twelve o’clock, one o’clock; no plumber.
She concluded he wasn’t coming, and went out to do some errands. While she was out, the plumber arrived.
He knocked on the door; the lady’s parrot, who was at home in a cage by the door, said, “Who is it? ”
He replied, “It’s the plumber. ”
He thought it was the lady who’d said, “Who is it? ” and waited for her to come and let him in. When this didn’t happen he knocked again, and again the parrot said, “Who is it? ”
He said, “It’s the plumber! ”
He waited, and again the lady didn’t come to let him in. He knocked again, and again the parrot said, “Who is it? ”
He said, “It’s the plumber!!!!!!!! ”
Again he waited; again she didn’t come; again he knocked; again the parrot said, “Who is it? ”; “Aarrrrrrgggggghhhhhhh!!! ” more...

What did the blonde say when she knocked over the priceless Ming vase? "It's OK Daddy, I'm not hurt."

Recently, somewhere in the US a teacher gave his class a not-too-kosher maths test which landed him in the proverbial soup. The original was edited and given to the class in all seriousness (I think). But there was some logical reasoning behind it!
Many people claim the reason innner city students do poorly on standardized tests is because the tests are culturally biased as part of an evil white surburbanite plan. This is of course a much more likely explanation than the idea that drugs, running gun battles and teen pregnancy are disruptive to education.
So, here's a culturally normalized standard test.
City of East Los Angeles
High School Math Proficiency Final Exam
Name:____________
Alias:____________
Gang:____________
Johnny has an AK-47 with a 40 round clip. If he misses 6 out of 10 shots, and he shoots 13 times at every drive by shooting, how may drive by shootings can he attend before he has to reload?
Jose has 2 ounces of cocaine and he sells more...

George knocked on the door of his friend's house. When his friend's mother answered he asked,' can Albert come out to play?'' No, said the mother,' it's too cold.'' Well, then,' said George,' can his football come out to play? '

One night a little man was sitting on a stool in a bar and a big man walked in and POW! knocked the little man off the stool and said "that was a judo chop from japan" the little man didnt think much of it and got back on the stool but again POW! the big man knocks the little man off the stool and says "that was a karate chop from korea" this time the little man was annoyed so he left the bar. Five minutes later the little man came back and POW! he knocked the big man off the stool and said to the bartender " when he gets up tell him that was a crowbar from sears"

George knocked on the door of his friends house. When his friends mother answered he asked, can Albert come out to play? No, said the mother, its too cold. Well, then, said George, can his football come out to play?

A bunch of cows and bulls are standing in a field. A huge gust of wind comes along and all the cows fall over, but the bulls just stand there, bracing themselves against the
gale.
All the cows stand up and go back to their chewing.
Pretty soon, an even stronger wind blows through and all of the cows are knocked to the ground, but the bulls just munch on the grass.
Next, a bona fide tornado comes through and all the cows are knocked clean into the next pasture. The bulls just say, "Mooo..."
Finally, one of the cows walks up to one of the bulls and says, "Moo? Is that all you can say? How come the wind always knocks us right over and you just stand there?"
"Isn't it obvious?" the bull replies. "We bulls wobble, but we don't fall down."