Knots Jokes / Recent Jokes

Today I had just changed my desk. They came, took the old one away, and brought in the new one. And then left. They left me with the computer on the floor and about a billion cables to plug in. Plugging in cables was OK, because I know computers good enough. But, the cables themselves!
It seems that if you leave a cable alone, it tends to form knots. Not simple knots (the type your shoelace get, those one that makes you cut the lace!) but really crazy, schizophrenic knots. So, I thought that if a cable means knots, than more cable mean more knots. Wrong! If you get more cable together, they weave. In twenty minutes, the cable wove by themselves a nice sweater. I pulled it apart, since I needed the cables more.
The second thing I learned about cables is that there are two kinds: the too long ones, that you have to bend and twist in order to bring them to a more reasonable length, and the too short ones. The second kind was bloody better represented among my cables.
Well, more...

An old sailor goes to a brothel, where he chooses his girl and begins.
"How am I doing?" He asks.
"Three knots," she replies.
"Three knots? What's that mean?"
"You're not hard, you're not in, and you're not getting your money back."

An old sailor goes to a brothel, where he chooses his girl and begins."How am I doing?" He asks."Three knots," she replies. "Three knots? What's that mean?""You're not hard, you're not in, and you're not getting your money back."

An old sailor goes to a brothel, where he chooses his girl and begins."How am I doing?" He asks."Three knots," she replies."Three knots? What's that mean?""You're not hard, you're not in, and you're not getting your money back."

An old sailor goes to a brothel, where he chooses his girl and begins." How am I doing?" He asks." Three knots," she replies. "Three knots? What's that mean?" "You're not hard, you're not in, and you're not getting your money back."

There was a virgin who wanted to marry a farmer boy.
One day, she went to his parents' house for dinner. When they got done eating dinner, they decided to go for a walk through the pasture. While they were walking, they came upon 2 horses that were mating. She looks at them with wonder because she has never seen anything like this before.
She asks the boy, "What are they doing?" He says: "They're making love."
"Well, what's that long thing he's sticking in there?" She asked. "Oh, uh, that's his rope," he answered.
"Well, what are those two round things on the other end?" she asked. He says, "Those are his knots." She says, "Oh, ok, I got it."
As they continue their stroll, they come to a barn and go in. She looks at him and says, "I want you to make love to me the way those animals were." Surprised and excited, the boy agrees.
While they are getting at it all hot and heavy, she more...

There was a virgin who wanted to marry a farmer boy.One day, she went to his parents' house for dinner. When they got done eating dinner, they decided to go for a walk through the pasture. While they were walking, they came upon 2 horses that were mating. She looks at them with wonder because she has never seen anything like this before.She asks the boy, "What are they doing?" He says: "They're making love.""Well, what's that long thing he's sticking in there?" She asked. "Oh, uh, that's his rope," he answered."Well, what are those two round things on the other end?" she asked. He says, "Those are his knots." She says, "Oh, ok, I got it."As they continue their stroll, they come to a barn and go in. She looks at him and says, "I want you to make love to me the way those animals were." Surprised and excited, the boy agrees.While they are getting at it all hot and heavy, she grabs his balls and squeezes. more...