Kong Jokes / Recent Jokes

What did King Kong say when he saw the Statue of Liberty? "Are you my mother?"

Real Subtitles from Hong Kong Movies -------------------------------------


1. I am damn unsatisfied to be killed in this way.


2. You with your thick face have hurt my instep.


3. Gun wounds again?


4. Same old rules: no eyes, no groin.


5. A normal person wouldn't steal pituitaries.


6. Damn, I'll burn you into a BBQ chicken!


7. Take my advice, or I'll spank you without pants.


8. Who gave you the nerve to get killed here?


9. Quiet or I'll blow your throat up.


10. You always use violence. I should've ordered glutinous rice chicken.


11. I'll fire aimlessly if you don't come out!


12. You daring lousy guy.


13. Beat him out of recognizable shape!


14. I have been scared sh*tless too much lately.


15. I got knife scars more than the number of more...

If you crossed King Kong and a bell, what would you have? A ding-dong King Kong.

Viagra story in Hong KongSCMP newspaper report in Hong Kong:
In a swindle people in Hong Kong are being invited to apply to act as testers for Viagra (not yet licensed here) by phoning a number for which they are then charged international rates. No such clinical trials exist.
The headline reads: "Phoney Viagra line stiffs callers"

International Travellers Bloopers1. On a French passenger jet: Live West Under Your Seat. 2. In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable. 3. In a Belgrade hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk. 4. In an Athens hotel: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 a. m. daily. 5. In a Yugoslav hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid. 6. In a Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid. 7. In the lobby of a Moscow hotel, across from a Russian monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists and writers are buried daily except Thursday. 8. In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers: Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension (???). 9. In a Swiss mountain inn: Special today: no ice cream. 10. On the menu of a more...

If King Kong went to Hong Kong to play ping pong and died. What would they put on his coffin? A lid!

Joe Smith starts another day early, having set his alarm clock (made in Japan) for 6: 00am While his coffee pot (made in Japan), is perking, he puts his hair dryer (made in Taiwan) to work and shaves with his electric razor (made in Hong Kong). He puts on a dress shirt (made in Singapore), and a pair of tennis shoes (made in Korea). After cooking up some breakfast in his new electric skillet (made in the Philippines), he sits down to figure out on his calculator (made in Mexico) how muck he can spend today. After setting his watch (made in Japan), to the radio (made in Hong Kong), he goes out, gets in his car (made in Japan), and goes looking, ad he has been for months, for a good paying American job. At the end of another discouraging and fruitless day, Joe decides to relax for awhile. He puts on a pair of sandals (made in Brazil), pours himself a glass of wine (made in France), and turns on his TV (made in Japan) and once again ponders why he can't find a good paying American job.