Lamb Jokes / Recent Jokes
A priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.
One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another, and they decided to do a seven-day experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear and preach to it.
Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the experience. Father O'Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages, goes first.
"Wellll," he says, in a fine Irish brouge, "Ey wint oot into th' wooods to fynd me a bearr. Oond when Ey fund him Ey began to rread to him from the Baltimorre Catechism. Welll, thet bearr wanted naught to do wi' me und begun to slap me aboot. So I quick grrabbed me holy water and, THE SAINTS BE PRAISED, he became as gentle more...
A butcher is working, and really busy. He notices a dog in his shop and shoos him
away. Later, he notices the dog is back again.
He walks over to the dog, and notices the dog has a note in his mouth. The butcher
takes the note, and it reads, "Can I have 12 sausages and a leg of lamb, please."
The butcher looks, and lo and behold, in the dog's mouth, there is a ten dollar
bill. So the butcher takes the money, puts the sausages and lamb in a bag, and places it in the dog's
mouth.
The butcher is very impressed, and since it's closing time, he decides to close up
shop and follow the dog. So, off he goes.
The dog is walking down the street and comes to a crossing. The dog puts down the
bag, jumps up and presses the crossing button. Then he waits patiently, bag in mouth, for the lights
to change. They do, and he walks across the road, with the butcher following.
The dog then comes to a bus stop, and starts looking at the more...
Customer: Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop?
Waiter: Can't you tell the difference by taste?
Customer: No, I can't.
Waiter: Then does it really matter?
A butcher in his shop, and he’s real busy, and he notices a dog in the shop. He shoos him away. But later, he notices the dog is back again. So he goes over to the dog, and notices he has a note in his mouth. He takes the note, and it reads “Can I have
12 sausages and a leg of lamb, please. The dog has money in his mouth, as well. ”
The butcher looks inside and, lo and behold, there is a ten pound note there. So he takes the money, and puts the sausages and lamb in a bag, placing it in the dog’s mouth. The butcher is well impressed, and since it’s close to closing time, he decides to shut up shop and follow the dog. So off he goes.
The dog is walking down the street, when he comes to a level crossing. The dog puts down the bag, jumps up and presses the button. Then he waits patiently, bag in mouth, for the lights to turn. They do, and he walks across the road, with the butcher following him all the way.
The dog then comes to a bus stop, and starts looking more...
A man walks into a bar with a leather bag and says to the barman will you give me a free drink if i show you something really amazing and the barman says it depends how amazing it is so the man goes in his bag and pulls out a mini piano and the barman says no thats not amazing enough and he goes no i havent finished yet so he puts in his hand and pulls out a mini man and the barman says yeah that is worth a free drink but where did you get the man and he pulls out a magic lamb and says if you close your eyes and make a wish it will come true so the man closes his eyes and makes a wish but nothing happens the all of a sudden the pub is full of ducks there are everywhere on the ceiling on the tables and a man comes over from a table and says what did you wish for and the man says i actually wished for 100 bucks and the man with the lamb says what did you thing you would get a 10 inch peinist.