Language Jokes / Recent Jokes
A Swiss guy visiting Sydney, Australia, pulls up at a bus stop where two locals are waiting. "Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?" he asks.The two Aussies just stare at him."Excusez-moi, parlez vous Francais?" he tries.The two continue to stare."Parlare Italiano?"No response."Hablan ustedes Espanol?"Still nothing.The Swiss guy drives off, extremely disgusted. The first Aussie turns to the second and says, "Y'know, maybe we should learn a foreign language.""Why?" says the other. "That guy knew four languages, and it didn't do him any good."
ADA: A Dumb Arrangement
ADA: A Dumb Acronym
ADA: A Dumb Annoyance
BASIC: Boring And Shamelessly Idiotic Coders
BASIC: Badly Assembled, Severely Illogical Code
BASIC: Beginner’s Algorithms for Seemingly Infinite Confusion
C: Crud
C: Confusing
COBOL: Completly Outdated, Badly Overused Language
COBOL: Completly Overused, Badly Outdated Language
COBOL: Cowards Only Buy Outdated Languages
COBOL: Cowards Only Build Outdated Languages
COBOL: Crap Operated By Obsessed lunatics
COBOL: Crap Often Bothers Our Lethargy
COBOL: Crap Ostracized By Our Loathing
COBOL: Compiles Only Because Of Luck
COBOL: Cumbersome, Overdone, Badly Organized Language
COBOL: Coded Only By Obsessed Lunatics
FORTRAN: Files Only Run Through Right At Never-neverland
LISP: Lots of Insanely Stupid Parentheses
LISP: Lots of Irritating Superfluous Parentheses
PASCAL: Programmers more...
Profanity is the one language all programmers know best.
Little Siripala, also known as "Amdon" is a child who was well aware of all the adult stuff and obscene language.
Once Siripala's teacher (a lady teacher) who was so annoyed with his use of obscene language, told Siripala to ask his mother to meet her the following day. Siripala's mother, who was pregnant, came to meet the teacher, the following day. As she entered the classroom, Siripala, pointing his finger to his mother's tummy, shouted saying "teacher! teacher! I did this! I did this!".
The teacher was very angry, and she told the mother "Look for yourself how your son behaves in the classroom. He is spoiling the other students also. That is why I wanted you to see me". The mother was helplessly looking at the teacher.
Then the teacher, turning towards Siripala said very angrily "How dare you tell something like that to your own mother". Then Siripala said "I am telling you the truth; I did this". Then the teacher so more...
A university English professor was explaining to his students the concept of gender association in the English language. He stated how hurricanes at one time were given feminine names and how ships and planes were usually referred to as "she".
One of the students raised a hand and asked, "What "gender" is a computer?" The professor wasn't certain which it was, so he divided the class into two groups, males in one, females in the other, and asked them to decide if a computer should be masculine or feminine.
Both groups were asked to give four reasons for their recommendation. The group of women concluded that computers should be referred to in the masculine gender because:
1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
2. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
3. They are supposed to help you solve your problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.
4. As soon as more...
GeekonicsBy John WoestendiekPhiladelphia InquirerWed., January 8, 1997NEWS BULLETIN: Saying it will improve the education of children who have grown up immersed in computer lingo, the school board in San Jose, Calif., has officially designated computer English, or "Geekonics", as a second language. The historic vote on Geekonics -- a combination of the word "geek" and the word "phonics" -- came just weeks after the Oakland school board recognized black English, or Ebonics, as a distinct language." This entirely reconfigures our parameters," Milton "Floppy" Macintosh, chairman of Geekonics Unlimited, said after the school board became the first in the nation to recognize Geekonics." No longer are we preformatted for failure," Macintosh said during a celebration that saw many Geekonics backers come dangerously close to smiling. "Today, we are rebooting, implementing a program to process the data we need to interface with more...