Laughter Jokes

Two British sailors attended a church service in Stockholm. Not speaking a word of Swedish and not wishing to appear out of place they sat behind an important looking man and when he stood up or knelt down, they did the same.
At the end of the service, the pastor made what was evidently an announcement, whereupon the man in front of the sailors rose to his feet, and they did likewise - to a roar of laughter from the congregation.
As the sailors left the church, the pastor spoke to them in English, so they asked him the reason for the laughter.
"Oh!" he said, "I mentioned that next Sunday morning there was to be a baptism and would the father of the child please stand up."

Laughter is like changing a baby's diaper. It doesn't permanently solve any problems, but it makes thing more acceptable for awhile.

The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet.
The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron.
Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money.
Many people had tried over time (weight-lifters, longshoremen, etc.) but nobody could do it.
One day this scrawny little man came into the bar, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit, and said in a tiny squeaky voice "I'd like to try the bet"
After the laughter had died down, the bartender said OK, grabbed a lemon, and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little man.
But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass!!
As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the $1000, and asked the little man "what do you do for a living? Are you a more...

In the far reaches of the Canadian wilderness, a new arrival at the lumberjack camp was settling down for the night in the men's dormitory with the rest of the guys after his first day on the job. The lights were turned off and suddenly he hears one guy call out "Twenty three!"... there is a roar of laughter from all the beds around the room, and another guy calls out "Forty seven"... more laughter follows. This goes on for a few more minutes until finally everyone settles down and goes to sleep.
The next morning, the newbie asks one of the other lumberjacks what all the laughter and numbers was about. He is told that they have all been there for so long at this camp, that they know all the jokes, and that each one is merely given a number... so when it comes to joke telling after lights-out, it is just a simple case of saying the number of the joke that is being told.
So, that evening, after lights-out, the same thing happens.. "Eighteen!"... and more...

The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out of the squeezed lemon would win the money.
Many people had tried over time (weightlifters, longshoremen, etc.), but nobody could do it.
One day this scrawny little man came in, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit, and said in a tiny, squeaky voice, "I'd like to try the bet."
After the laughter had died down, the bartender said OK, grabbed a lemon, and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little man.
But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and several tablespoons worth fell into the glass. As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the $1000, and asked the little man, "What do you do for a more...