Leadeth Jokes

The Pro is my Shepherd, I shall not Slice. He maketh me to Drive Straight Down Green Fairways; He leadeth me Safely across Still Water-Hazards; He restoreth my Approach Shots. He Leadeth me in the Paths of Accuracy for my Game's Sake. Yea, though I chip through the Roughs in the shadows of Sand Traps, I will fear no Bogies. For his Advice is with me; His Putter and Irons, they comfort me. He prepareth my Strategy for me in the presence of mine Opponents; He anointeth my head with Confidence: The Cup will not be runneth over! Surely Birdies and Eagles shall follow me all the Rounds of my Life, And I will score in the Low Eighties. Amen.

When the blind leadeth the blind, get out of the way.

The TV is my shepherd, I shall not want.
It maketh me to lie down on the sofa;
It leadeth me away from faith;
It destroys my soul;
It leadeth me into the paths of sex and violence for the sponsors sake.
Yea, though I walk through the shadow of my Christian responsibilities,
there is no interruption, for the TV is with me;
Its cables and remote control, they comfort me.
It prepareth a commercial for me in the presence of my worldliness.
It annointeth my head with humanism and consumerism;
my coveting runneth over.
Surely, laziness and ignorance shall follow me all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell in the house,
just watching TV all the time.

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want
He leadeth me to Neiman Marcus
He giveth me energy for shopping
He restoreth my checkbook
He teacheth me to make restaurant reservations
He leadeth me past K-Mart for mine own sake
Yea, though I walk by Target
I shall not go in, for Thou art with me
Thy fashionable clothes they comfort me
Thou preparest diamond jewelry for me in the presence of mine enemies
Thou anointest my face with Chanel cosmetics
My cup overflows
Surely designer clothes shall follow me to the end of my days
And I will walk on Rodeo Drive forever.

When the blind leadeth the blind, get out of their way.