Leaf Jokes / Recent Jokes

This woman has her bridge club every Thursday night and after a peaceful game or two with the ladies, she goes home to fix her husband dinner when he gets home from work. Well, one Thursday, she's playing a great game and she has an incredible hand when she notices the time. "Oh, no! I have to go fix my husband his dinner! He's going to be so angry if it's not ready on time." And she dashes out of her friend's house, her great hand forgotten on the table.When she gets home, she realizes she has very little time, not enough time to go to the supermarket, and all she has in the cupboard is a wilted lettuce leaf, an egg, and a can of cat food. In a panic, she opens the can of cat food, stirs in the egg, and garnishes it with the lettuce leaf just as her husband is pulling up. She watches in horror as he sits down to his dinner, and then she realizes he is loving it! "Mmmm, darling, this is the best dinner you have made for me in forty years of marriage. You can make this more...

There was this guy who had to go for costume party, and had walked into this
shop which specialises in costume party wear, and had asked
the girl at the counter for a dress, she asked what he
wanteg to go as, and he replied as ADAM.. she went in and
brought out this Fig Leaf, he said too small, she went in again
and brought a bigger Fig Leaf, he replied still too small
.. exasperated she went in and brought out this huge Fig leaf.
He replied sorry Miss way too small for me...
She replied. .. HEY BUDDY. .. WHY NOT THROW IT OVER THE SHOULDER
AND GO AS A GASOLINE PUMP...
H. Sulaiman. ..

A guy goes into a costume shop. He says, "I'm going to acostume party, I want to go as Adam." The girl brings outa fig leaf. He says, "Not big enough." She brings out a bigger one. He says, "Still not big enough." She brings out a huge fig leaf. He says, "Still not big enough." She says, "Listen, Ace, why don't you just throw it over yourshoulder and go as a gasoline pump?"

A nun had to use the bathroom, so she went into a bar, the first place she could find. She noticed that every time the lights went out, everybody cheered.
She went up to the bartender and asked him why. He said she would be better off not knowing, so she asked where the bathroom is. He gave her directions.
When she got there she saw a big naked statue with a fig leaf covering you-know-where.
When she exited the bathroom everybody cheered. She asked the bartender why, and he replied,"Every time someone lifts the fig leaf, the lights go out."

A male pastor walked into a neighbourhood pub to use the toilet. The place was hopping with music and dancing, until people saw the pastor. As the room quieted down he walked up to the bartender, and asked, "May I please use the toilet?"

The bartender replied, "I really don't think you should."

"Why not?" the pastor asked. "I really need to use the toilet!"

"Well, I don't think you should. There is a statue of a naked woman in there -- and she's only covered by a fig leaf!"

"Nonsense," said the pastor, "I'll look the other way!"

So, the bartender showed the clergyman the door at the top of the stairs, and he proceeded to the toilet. After a few minutes, he came back out, and the whole place was hopping with music and dancing again! He went to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don't understand. When I came in here, the place was hopping with music and dancing. more...

Ryan Leaf has surfaced as the quarterbacks coach for Division II's number four ranked West Texas State. Leaf has taught his team how to throw a spiral, throw a tantrum, and throw in the towel.

A man enters a costume shop and says to the female clerk, "I'm going to a costume party and I'd like to go as Adam."
The girl goes to the back of the shop and brings the man a fig leaf.
"Oh, that's not big enough," he says, with a chuckle.
The girl brings out a bigger leaf.
"Nope," he says, "still not big enough."
So, the girl brings out a HUGE fig leaf.
"Sorry, but that's still not big enough," he says, with a broad grin.
"Listen, Hot Shot," the girl snaps, "why not just throw it over your shoulder and go as a gasoline pump!"