Leaf Jokes / Recent Jokes

A male pastor entered a neighborhood pub to use the restroom. The place was hopping with music and dancing, until people noticed him.
As the room quieted down he approached the bartender and asked, "May I use the restroom, please?"
"I really don't think that's a good idea," the bartender replied.
"Why not?" the pastor asked. "I really need to use a restroom!"
"Well, I really don't think you should," insisted the bartender. "There's a statue of a naked woman in there and she's only covered by a fig leaf."
"Nonsense," said the pastor, "I'll look the other way!"
So, the bartender showed the clergyman the door at the top of the stairs and he proceeded to the restroom.
After a few minutes he came back out and the place was hopping with music and dancing again. He went to the bartender and said, "Excuse me, sir, but I don't understand. When I first came in here the place was more...

Rabbi in bar
A Rabbi walks into a bar to use the rest room. He walks up to the bartender, and asks "Can I please use the rest room?" The place was hoppin' with music, and dancin', till they saw the Rabbi. The bartender says, "I really don't think you should."
The Rabbi again, asks, "Can I please use the rest room?" Well, the bartender says to the Rabbi, "I really don't think you should, you see, there is a statue of a beautiful naked lady, and she's only covered by a fig leaf!"
The Rabbi responded with, "Nonsense a man of my stature will not be bothered by that statue!" Well, the bartender showed the Rabbi the door at the top of the stairs.
The Rabbi proceeded to the rest room, and after a few minutes, he came back out, and the whole place was hoppin' with music and dancin' again! He went to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don't understand, when I came in here, the place was hoppin' with music and dancin', then the more...

This woman has her bridge club every Thursday night and after a peaceful game or two with the ladies,
she goes home to fix her husband dinner when he gets home from work. Well, one Thursday, she's
playing a great game and she has an incredible hand when she notices the time. "Oh, no! I have to go
fix my husband his dinner! He's going to be so angry if it's not ready on time." And she dashes out
of her friend's house, her great hand forgotten on the table.
When she gets home, she realizes she has very little time, not enough time to go to the supermarket,
and all she has in the cupboard is a wilted lettuce leaf, an egg, and a can of cat food. In a panic,
she opens the can of cat food, stirs in the egg, and garnishes it with the lettuce leaf just as her
husband is pulling up. She watches in horror as he sits down to his dinner, and then she realizes he
is loving it!
"Mmmm, darling, this is the best dinner you have made for more...

An older woman was enjoying a good game of bridge with her girlfriends one evening when she realized her husband was due home soon and she hadn't left dinner for him. Knowing how upset he got when he didn't have his dinner on time, she exclaimed "Oh, no! I have to rush home and fix dinner for my husband! He's going to really ticked if it's not ready on time!"She rushed home, but when she got there she realized that she didn't have enough time to go to the supermarket, and all she had in the refrigerator was a wilted lettuce leaf, an egg, and a can of cat food. In a panic, she opened the can of cat food, stirred in the egg, and garnished
it with the lettuce leaf just as her husband pulled up.She greeted her husband and then watched in horror as he sat down to his dinner. To her surprise, the husband really enjoyed his dinner that evening. "Darling, this is the best dinner you have made for me in 40 years of marriage. You can make this for me any old more...

A very traditional elderly woman was enjoying a good game of bridge with her girlfriends one evening. "Oh, no! I have to rush home and fix dinner for my husband! He`s going to really ticked if it`s not ready on time!" she exclaimed suddenly.
When she got home, she realized that she didn`t have enough time to go to the supermarket, and all she had in the cupboard was a wilted lettuce leaf, an egg, and a can of cat food. In a panic, she opened the can of cat food, stirred in the egg, and garnished it with the lettuce leaf just as her husband pulled up.
She greeted her husband and then watched in horror as he sat down to his dinner. To her surprise, the husband really enjoyed his dinner. "Darling, this is the best dinner you have made for me in forty years of marriage. You can make this for me any old day."
Needless to say, every bridge night from then on, the woman made her husband the same dish. She told her bridge cronies about it and they were all more...

A little old man was escorted into the witness box. After being sworn in, the lawyer asked him to explain what happened. After a lengthy discussion of the events leading up to the incident, he finally got around to the meat of the case.
"... and then she hit me with a maple leaf."
"Surely that couldn't have caused you any serious injury?" said the lawyer.
"Are you kidding?" exclaimed the old man. "It was the leaf from the center of our dining room table."

A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, and looked at the old pages as he turned them. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible, and he picked it up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that had been pressed in between the pages.

"Momma, look what I found," the boy called out.

"What have you got there, dear?" his mother asked.

With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered: "I think it's Adam's suit!"