Legs Jokes / Recent Jokes

What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No eye deer.
What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
Still no eye deer.
what do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs and no skin?
Venison.

A man wakes up in a hospital bed after a terrible accident and cries - "DOC, DOC...I can't feel my legs, I can't feel my legs!!!"Well of course you can't silly!", replies the Doc..."I've cut off both of your arms."

Q. What do you call a cow with no legs?

A. Ground beef.

Q: Whats got four legs and no ears? A: Mike Tysons dog.

A man named Mr. Smith was flying from San Francisco to LA. Unexpectedly the plane stopped in Sacramento along the way. The flight attendant explained that there would be a delay, and if the passengers wanted to get off the aircraft, the plane would re-board in 30 minutes. Everybody got off the plane except one gentleman who was blind. Mr. Smith had noticed him as he walked by and could tell the blind man had flown before because his Seeing Eye dog lay quietly underneath the seats in front of him throughout the entire flight. Mr. Smith could also tell he had flown this very flight before because the pilot approached him, and calling him by name, said Keith, were in Sacramento for almost an hour. Would you like to get off and stretch your legs?" Keith replied, "No thanks, but maybe the dog would like to stretch his legs". Now, picture this: All the people in the gate area came to a complete quiet standstill when they looked up and saw the pilot walk off the plane with the more...

What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No idea!
What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
Still no idea!
What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs and is on fire?
Still no flaming idea!

A destroyer pulled into a foreign port, and put down maximum liberty. The skeleton crew didnt notice a chimpanzee, escaped from a nearby civilian transport, crawled up the ropes and up to the smokestack. Down the stack, it made its way into the engine room. It came across a power panel opened up for maintenance, couldnt read the warning signs, and with a bright blue blast shorted out the ships electrical system, and plunged the ship into darkness. A little bit later, two junior Hull Technicians wander down with their flashlights, looking for the problem. They come upon the blackened body of the chimp. They shine their flashlights on its long, burnt arms. They look at each other. They highlight its short legs and odd feet. They look at each other. Finally one says, "Well, its too hairy to be an Electrician, the legs are too short for a Hull Tech, and there would be more tatoos on a Bosu n. Call the wardroom, see if one of the duty officers is missing."