Legs Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day, a blonde was left alone in a lab with a beetle. She examined it and decided to do an experiment.
She pulled off one of its legs, then asked it to run. The beetle obeyed her command.
Then, she pulled off a second leg and asked it to run. It did, but with a lot of difficulty.
Finally, she pulled the remaining legs off and asked it to run. It couldn’t.
“I have made a new discovery! ” the blonde cried. “When you pull all of a beetle’s legs off, it becomes deaf!! ”

A man wakes up in a hospital bed after a terrible accident and cries -
"DOC, DOC...I can't feel my legs, I can't feel my legs!!!
"Well of course you can't silly!", replies the Doc...
"I've cut off both of your arms."

There were three guys in a new bar that just openened and the bartender asked them what he should call his new bar. One guy said, "just name it a pub." Another said, "just name it the bar." The thrid guy said, "name it Suzy's Legs". The owner like that one so he called his bar Suzy's Legs. The next morning, this same guy and his dog were sitting in front of the bar waiting for it to open when a cop drove by and asked what he was doing? He replied... nothing officer..."just waiting for Suzy's Legs to open so I can get a drink!"

Q: What's got four legs and no ears? A: Mike Tyson's dog.

POEM # 1
Roses are red,
Pickles are green,
I love your legs and what's between.
POEM # 2
Roses are red,
Grass is green,
Open your legs,
And I'll fuck you clean.
POEM # 3
I like your style,
I like your class,
but most of all I like your ass.
POEM # 4
Im a cool girl, in a cool town,
It takes a real mother fucker to put me down.
POEM # 5
Kissing is a habit,
Fucking is a game,
Guys get all the pleasure,
Girls get all the pain.
The guy says I love you,
You believe it's true,
But when your tummy starts to swell,
He says "to hell with you".
10 minutes of pleasure,
9 monthes in pain,
3 days in hospital,
A baby without a name.
The baby is a bastard,
The mother is a whore,
This never wouldn't have happened,
If the rubber hadn't torn.
POEM # 6
Guys are like roses,
Watch out for the pricks.
POEM # 7
Smoke a smoke,
Not a butt;
Fuck a more...

A man wakes up in a hospital bed after a terrible accident and cries - "DOC, DOC...I can't feel my legs, I can't feel my legs!!!
"Well of course you can't silly!", replies the Doc... "I've cut off both of your arms."

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesnt matter what you call him, he still wont come!