Legs Jokes / Recent Jokes

A first-grade teacher, Ms Brooks was having trouble with one of
her students.
The teacher asked, "Harry what is your problem?" Harry
answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the
third -grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in
the third-grade too!"
Ms Brooks had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.
While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to
the principal what the situation was.
The principal told Ms Brooks he would give the boy a test and if
he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the
first-grade and behave.
She agreed.
Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him
and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Harry: "9".
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Harry: "36".
And so it went with every question the principal thought more...

'Beauty and der Beast' and similar kinds of texts, where English is enriched by German words and morphemes (the elements of words), are obviously funny to native English speakers.
Here is what Germans (provided they know a little English) find funny - do you? The basic rule when writing such a text is to translate morpheme by morpheme, keeping the wordorder.
A reader's letter about Munich
THE FREEBODY-CULTURE
Very honored Mr. Chief-Editor,
I have the outeachothersetting in the Southgerman Paper about the English-teaching in Germany followed and I want now my mustard to it give. To make it short, it hangs me to the throat out, and therefore want I say something about your wonderful city. Mainthingly, find I Munich traffic-politically unreached. I sat myself in New York in the greatroom-flystuff, and eight hours later am I in your gemoodly flyport Riem. Then went it in only 15 minutes and the faststreet to the Maryplace, where I with many with-humans the Bellgame on more...

A kid walks into a lunchroom at school and sees a fly on the table. He swats it and leaves. Abother kid walks in, sees the dead fly and says, "Hey, cool, wings." So he pulls off the wings and leaves. Another kid comes in, sees the fly, and says, "Hey look! Legs!" So he pulls off the legs and leaves. A third kid comes in and he also sees the dead fly. He leans over to look at it and pulls of its head. Then the first kid comes back, sees it and says, "Hey, look, a raisin," and he eats it.

Q: What do you say to a girl with no arms and no legs?
A: Hey...Nice Tits!!!

This bloke picks up woman at the local pub. They go for a romanticwalk down the street. They walk hand in hand and as they stroll hislustful desires rise to a fever pitch. He is just about to put the hard word on her when she says, "I hope you don'tmind but I'm busting to have a piss". Slightly taken aback by this vulgarity he replies, "OK whydon't you go behind these bushes". She nods in agreement and disappears behind the bushes. As he waits he can hear the sound of nylon knickers rollingdown her voluptuous legs and imagines what is being exposed. Unable to contain himself for another moment, he reaches througha gap in the foliage, his hand touching her leg. He quickly brings hishand further up her thigh until suddenly he finds himself gripping a long, thick appendage hanging between her legs. He shouts in horror "My God, don't tell me your really a bloke!"." No" she replies", "I've changed my mind, I'm having a shit instead."

Q: What do you say to a girl with no arms and no legs? A: Hey...Nice Tits!!!

This lady with no arms and no legs was n a beach this guy walks by and she says will you fuck me!!!??? the guys says ok and fuckes her. the same thing happens with two other guys and she says it to the wrong person and they picked her up threw her in the ocean and yelled YOUR FUCKED!!!
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